|
jimray
I like my tomatoes like I like my women: heirloom and salty.
about 5 hours ago
from Hahlo
|
|
|
awryone
Now that my daughter is too old to fly for free,
I'm getting her a dog suit so she can fly in the cargo hold.
about 6 hours ago
from web
|
|
|
ttseco
Designer country: Azer by Jan
about 12 hours ago
from Hahlo
|
|
|
vmarinelli
Awesome that a Harvard grad from IL, with a Kenyan father & a white mother, can grow up to be a founding member of Rage Against the Machine.
11:58 PM August 26, 2008
from web
|
|
|
SeoulBrother
If only there was a way I could tell if I ate asparagus tonight.
08:08 PM August 26, 2008
from twitterrific
|
|
|
|
vmarinelli
Kid at high school wore T-shirt that said "I believe in science." 1st thought: Relief. 2nd thought: A shame one should need to specify that.
08:58 PM August 26, 2008
from web
|
|
|
CcSteff
What kind of asshole *doesn't* want to view all on 1 page?
08:39 PM August 26, 2008
from web
|
|
|
|
CcSteff
On a scale of 1 to Corky, how retarded is it to ride your bike without your helmet in an urban setting?
07:01 PM August 26, 2008
from web
|
|
|
|
vmarinelli
Evidently "oh my fucking God" is NOT the best response to your kid's homeroom teacher on fee night, when told how much to write a check for.
05:31 PM August 26, 2008
from web
|
|
|
nictate
He texted: I'm at a concert. Standing next to Justin Long. She replied: How PC of you.
03:29 PM August 26, 2008
from BeTwittered
|
|
|
hotdogsladies
My shrink's expression suggests that I know just enough about the human mind to misunderstand what separates us from, say, plastic ferns.
03:12 PM August 26, 2008
from web
|
|
|
|
ttseco
When I first saw Michael Palin travel the world I thought that's exactly what I want to do with my life! Sit on my sofa and watch him travel
01:06 AM August 27, 2008
from Hahlo
|
|
|
mogrify
I'm voting for Obama because I believe that he would not fight a hobo to be President. McCain would be like, "To the death?"
06:05 PM August 26, 2008
from web
|
|
|
crispycracka
Cat is having a VERY heated debate w/a squirrel right now. Lets just say-if it was being televised,they'd hafta bleep out every other "meow"
03:11 PM August 26, 2008
from web
|
|
|
smartasshat
Upon winning his first Academy Award, Walt Disney proclaimed, "I'm going home!"
Look it up.
02:22 PM August 26, 2008
from web
|
|
|
|
awryone
John McCain started a little trouble on The Tonight Show while waiting for warm-up act Jay Leno to leave the stage for Jack Paar's entrance.
11:53 AM August 26, 2008
from web
|
|
|
emilybrianna
I put both of my contacts in the same eye this morning. Disappointed this did not result in X-ray vision.
10:53 AM August 26, 2008
from web
|
|
|
Slate
Question for Ted Kennedy: How many sailboats do you own?
09:30 PM August 25, 2008
from web
|
|
|
|
nictate
1. Set up Twitter account w/name "A government operative." 2. Wait for ripple of panic when your "____ is following you " e-mails go out.
03:47 PM August 25, 2008
from BeTwittered
|
|
|
brilliantology
Finally wrote and sent my "Hello estranged dad, I'm going to uni again, would you like to make good on your promise and pay for it?" email.
04:35 PM August 22, 2008
from web
|
|
