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FanEffingTastic

  1. To sleep or not to sleep that is the queszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzZZZzzzzz
  2. Adding vodka to my V8 like my alcoholic ancestors before me. Wait, what?!
  3. This coffee could use a lot more Red Bull.
  4. Later.
  5. All this not caring about your tales of 'Henry the Cat' really makes a girl want some pie.
  6. Here's some of my favorite people to follow: http://tinyurl.com/nlhk2j
  7. @Mike_FTW You glorious bastard.
  8. Hoax or not RIP Jeff Goldblum's career 20 years ago.
  9. Guys, GUYS WAIT. He will come back. He's been in with the zombies for years. #michaeljackson
  10. I'm blaming this one completely on the boogie #michaeljackson
  11. RIP Michael Jackson. This moonwalk is just for you.
  12. @califmom Best news I've heard all day! Awesome, awesome!
  13. So this is what feels like to not give a shit who Mark Sanford is sleeping with... Huh.
  14. If I bring sexy back will I get my full refund?
  15. "Have we ever had a serious conversation?" "Usually it's just fart jokes and quoting movie lines. Those work for almost everything."
  16. If it wasn't for Twitter I would go days upon days without ever knowing what day of the week it is.
  17. At no point or time is it ever ok to have coffee taste like a waffle.
  18. When you are the bees knees you aren't anything at all. Fact.
  19. @dwineman Congratulations to you and the Mrs!
  20. I wouldn't want to toot my own horn. Unless I had a penis. I wouldn't leave the house much then.