FamilyGuyQuotes
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God: Jesus Christ! | Jesus: What? | God: Get the Escalade. We're Outta Here!
about 13 hours ago
from web
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Goat Man: Welcome to Narnia, I am Mr. Tumnus | Peter: Hey, give me back my sock you goat bastard!
11:48 AM Nov 23rd
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Peter: Lois you know my rule. You are only allowed to sleep with three people besides me. Gene Simmons, John Schneider or Boba Fett
3:11 PM Nov 20th
from web
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Chris: Jus' layin' back in the cut, peepin' at this here homey. Yo Pops, lemme have some cheddar. Some playa-hata be throwin salt in my game
9:38 AM Nov 18th
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Chris: If I had a hole in my neck, I'd put pennies in it!
10:41 AM Nov 15th
from web
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Quagmire: Hey get the hell off my... Well hello lips, legs, breasts, and ass
4:43 PM Nov 11th
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Peter: Hahahaha! You just said "nuclear". It's "nukular" dummy, the "s" is silent!
6:47 PM Nov 10th
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Peter: I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it | Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge
12:19 PM Nov 8th
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Peter: Joe, I thought you were bringing your cop friends over. What are all these parallelograms doing here? | Joe: You mean paraplegics
10:09 AM Nov 3rd
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Boy Scout leader: Chris you have three days to earn a merit badge or you are out of the scouts | Peter: Three days... that's tomorrow!
1:29 PM Nov 2nd
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Tom Tucker: Coming up next: Diane's weight
10:38 AM Oct 31st
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Lois: We'll continue this talk after dinner. Women are not objects |
Peter: That's right, son, listen to what it says
8:41 AM Oct 30th
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Lois: Peter, Stewie peed on the carpet again | Peter: Do... do I hit him?
7:43 AM Oct 28th
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Quagmire: [on a raft made of blow-up dolls] Careful guys, even the slightest prick will pop these things. Giggity
2:01 PM Oct 26th
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Stewie: Hello mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster
1:54 PM Oct 22nd
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Herbert the pervert: You don't wanna hurt yourself dancing, you better stretch out those creamy hamstrings
5:09 PM Oct 20th
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Peter: A boat's a boat, but the mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat!
2:09 PM Oct 18th
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Peter: He's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick | Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic | Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!
11:44 AM Oct 15th
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Lois: Chris, honey, what's wrong? | Chris: Anna took a dump on me | Lois: What?! | Chris: Yeah, she broke up with me
12:21 PM Oct 12th
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Peter: Our kids will be so smart they'll be able to program their own VCRs without spilling piping hot gravy all over myself
9:22 AM Oct 9th
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