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FakeMondayNight

  1. Feeling sick per usual. I think I might have the damn #swineflu. Regardless, I have symptoms that may or may not rhyme with banal sneakage. 4:49 PM Apr 28th from web
  2. I think it's about time that I hire a virtual assistant, to wipe MY ASS 4:12 PM Mar 11th from web
  3. Tougher than usual watching the president on my bigscreen- maybe because my RAY-BANS were still on my face. Maybe I'll sleep in them, FTW! 8:32 PM Feb 24th from web
  4. Any new places I can go to point out other's complete ignorance of beer?!?! Srsly tho. 10:58 PM Feb 17th from web
  5. Just got in... tired of lame hipster pubs. #atl_can_suck_my_D 10:53 PM Feb 17th from web
  6. A) zipped up in OUR fly; and B) Jonathan Baker... manos fuera 11:26 AM Feb 13th from web
  7. I just realized that my fly has been down all day, YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT... manos fuera... 11:21 AM Feb 13th from web
  8. Reading: "The Most Ridiculous Beer Pong Table Ever Automatically Washes Your Balls" ( http://tinyurl.com/dgpe97 ) 1:21 PM Feb 11th from web
  9. If I were a planet, I'd be the sun... REVOLVE BITCHES! 7:34 AM Feb 11th from web
  10. About to take a HOT bubble bath while sipping my Sinebrychoff Porter and reading a really thick book. 8:40 PM Feb 10th from web
  11. it's official, my twitter background completely PWNZ. Yes? Yes? 7:33 PM Feb 10th from web