FakeMichaelBay
-
The U.S. Marshals just deputized my hands as deadly weapons. At this point, I'm more jungle cat than man.
12:10 PM Nov 25th
from TweetDeck
-
Movie Review: Old Dogs - John Travolta is woefully miscast in a role Kathleen Turner was genetically engineered to play. 2/5 Stupid Chiefs.
10:39 AM Nov 25th
from TweetDeck
-
Wrestled Craig T. Nelson at Indian Joe's used car lot over the last Christmas tree. It was his game, but we played by MY RULES.
1:02 PM Nov 24th
from TweetDeck
-
Spent 90% of the morning completely naked. Cooked scrambled eggs, took out the trash and tipped the paper boy. Solid start to the day.
9:50 AM Nov 24th
from TweetDeck
-
Baylosophy: It’s worth turning the nation into a war zone & risking innocent lives to keep drugs out of the hands of college kids. D.A.R.E!
3:42 PM Nov 23rd
from TweetDeck
-
Just got stripped, racked and tortured by an Asian man. I'll tell you this much, I'm pretty sure he's overcharging me.
3:08 PM Nov 23rd
from TweetDeck
-
I swear to every imaginary man in the sky humanity has ever invented, if I see any more New Moon coverage, I will tiger-punch an orphan.
12:20 PM Nov 23rd
from TweetDeck
-
Movie Review: The Blind Side- People are shot, stabbed, set on fire, hit by cars, beaten with chains, and strangled. Wait, no, I fell asleep
10:16 AM Nov 23rd
from TweetDeck
-
Currently: Mastering the art of Kayakujutsu while watching season 2 of Gilmore Girls on Blu-ray. Oh, I don't THINK SO Luke.
3:03 PM Nov 20th
from TweetDeck
-
Christmas Gift Ideas: # 3 - Bows, throwing axes or bear traps. Preferably all 3 combined to make some sort of Sons of the Soil Super Weapon.
11:06 AM Nov 20th
from TweetDeck
-
I've been running track for 9 straight hours. If we go to sleep, Communists will steal this world as sure as thieves in the night.
7:22 AM Nov 20th
from TweetDeck
-
Advanced Screening Movie Review: Twilight Saga: New Moon - If budget, effects, acting, script, and story aren't a concern, it's not half bad
12:14 PM Nov 19th
from TweetDeck
-
Baylosophy: Saving the world from godless Communism is fun, my fellow Americans. Join up or get the fuck out.
10:53 AM Nov 19th
from TweetDeck
-
Was out donating tank tops and sunglasses to the local Goodwill, when I accidentally walked into the ladies room, ON PURPOSE. Count It!
8:14 AM Nov 19th
from TweetDeck
-
M Fox read lines like she just learned English the night before. Her wooden delivery was so painful to endure that I nearly stopped the film
2:41 PM Nov 18th
from TweetDeck
-
Got back from buying deli meat and settling various scores. Not one, but TWO montages were employed to speed things up.
11:36 AM Nov 18th
from TweetDeck
-
Just kicked a man so hard into a brick wall that he very well could’ve died. Wait, of course he died.
1:52 PM Nov 17th
from TweetDeck
-
What should I wear: Chain Mail shirt or sleeveless, button-up v-neck? Know this: I WILL be wearing an impeccably stiff red beret.
9:33 AM Nov 17th
from TweetDeck
-
FYI: Men fight and die for other men. Finding the man who killed your buddy/partner is more important than saving your crumbling marriage.
8:26 AM Nov 17th
from TweetDeck
-
Baylosophy: Enough pull-ups can, AND DO, conquer centuries of tradition. What's up now grandpa? NUKED.
3:04 PM Nov 16th
from TweetDeck
|
- Name Fake Michael Bay
- Location My 100ft Yacht-Bahia Calebra
- Bio Guns | Explosions | Shredding Guitar Solos | Money! (Not affiliated with the real Michael Bay))
|
