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FakeCriswell

  1. Good luck to you all, and I will see you in the future. Take care.....
  2. So, my friends, have a smashing holiday weekend, and I will see you next week for another helping of future
  3. Our office will NOT be open on Memorial Day, but I may just check in to make sure the future is proceeding as usual
  4. And that'll do it for today. I'm off on vacation Thursday and Friday, so the next time I see you will be next Tuesday
  5. Thanks for your question. Keep those questions about the future coming in, my friends, and someday I'll answer them all
  6. On the bright side, at you'll HAVE hands in the future!
  7. Also, due to radical height changes in the populace they will end up being only about half as long
  8. Determined: I predict that guitars will be twice as wide in the future, to account for mutations in the human hand
  9. Reader question from Determined in Bangor: "What will guitars look like in the future?"
  10. Therefore I predict a major rise in the popularity of the peanut butter sandwich in the future! Get ready for that, my friends
  11. These jellies will range from unpalatable to detestable to lethal, and therefore the nationwide appetite for jelly will drop significantly
  12. Also: sawdust, groats, low-grade bubblegum (currently only fed to cattle), and also the seed of the rotting corpse flower
  13. Gooseberries, nettles, pinecones, lettuce, avocado, durian, low-grade coffee beans, granola, hazelnuts, and starfruit
  14. I predict that we will eventually see jams made out of the following foods:
  15. But even these assets will begin to deplete, and the jam industry will look to lesser used foods for their next generation of jams
  16. These shortages will not immediately effect the jelly industry, since they have massive preserves reserves (!) to rely upon
  17. My friends, you are no doubt aware of the massive food shortages that are predicted to come to our land within the next 25-50 years
  18. Today, for example, my predictions are all about the future of jam/jelly flavors
  19. So I urge you to think of my predictions as helpers to get you smoothly down the path of life!
  20. But these obstacles can be overcome through the judicious application of a little knowledge of what's coming up in the path