FakeAPStyle
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The word "hysterical" may only be used to describe people who would are so bent that they'll jump into an elephant's mouth
12:00 PM Dec 11th
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If you can't be with the one you love, honey, @ says you should love the one you're with.
9:38 AM Dec 7th
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EX: "We are literally starving to death," said Jeff Drake, some over-fed dumbo who never learned to use English correctly
9:35 AM Dec 7th
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If you quote a source using "literally" incorrectly, feel free to mock them without mercy or conscience...
9:34 AM Dec 7th
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You may use "somebody has a case of the Monday's" in a story only if you let everyone in the newsroom kick you in the shins
9:33 AM Dec 7th
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@ we go old school and use "French Indochina." Also, pronounce "junta" so as to rhyme with "Dan Marino."
5:05 PM Dec 5th
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in reply to GoofaSutra
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EX: "Yes, the mayor did some bad stuff, but didn't R. Kelly say "I can't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind?"
7:47 PM Dec 3rd
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For editorials condemning a politician for an improper sexual relationship, feel free to use rap lyrics as counterpoint...
7:43 PM Dec 3rd
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Refrain from using the phrase "in a shocking move" unless said move was throwing a plugged-in toaster into a swimming pool
7:42 PM Dec 3rd
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As he isn't physiologically a male, refer to beloved tire icon "Michelin Man" as "Michelin...well...Thing? Does Thing work?"
7:40 PM Dec 3rd
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To attract younger readers to dense budgets stories, use "Now all the ladies in the house say YEAAH" as your lead.
7:38 PM Dec 3rd
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EX: "In a statement, the suspect said 'You're right! I put the [fargin flaw-flin] gun in his [blankedy blank] mouth!"
10:45 AM Dec 2nd
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Rather than using "[expletive deleted]," replace profanity with the either "blankedy blank" or "fargin flaw-flin."
10:44 AM Dec 2nd
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EX: "Josh Reed, a low-ranking staffer in the planning office, clapped like his hands were on fire during the mayor's speech"
9:43 AM Dec 2nd
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When covering press conferences, note the enthusiasm of the applause coming from the staffers standing behind the speaker...
9:41 AM Dec 2nd
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Attn hacky sports columnists: All jokes about Tiger Woods & Mistress will become cliche in 7 hours. Get yours in before then
6:31 AM Dec 2nd
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After a word or term readers may not know, insert the phrase "You just may want to Google that one" in parentheses.
1:49 PM Dec 1st
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EX (continued): Later, the tornado sought to elaborate, saying "WWWWWOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRSSSSHHHHHHSHSHSHHH!!!!"
1:46 PM Dec 1st
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EX: When asked if he attacked the town because of it's love of Harry Potter, the tornado said "WHHHRHRHRRROOOOOOSSHHHH!"
1:45 PM Dec 1st
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When writing a story about severe weather, indicate any attempt to reach the weather phenomenon regarding their motive...
1:44 PM Dec 1st
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- Name FakeAPStyle
- Location Inside a volcano of language
- Web http://www.twitte...
- Bio An archive of my #fakeAPstyle tweets, which began Sept. 2009. Accept no substitutes. Find me on twitter @bobfrankpat
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