EvilBenStiller
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dear twitter: sorry about breaking you with my awesomeness.
4:15 PM Sep 17th
from web
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grunge is still cool in this universe, right?
3:53 PM Sep 17th
from web
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The seven who have unfollowed me recently will suffer eternal torment. You know who you are. The rest are guaranteed nirvana. or pearl jam.
3:52 PM Sep 17th
from web
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@ Follow in my evil ways, Sona. I will show you how to overcome your master @. My minions are legion and funnier (looking)
9:12 PM Sep 16th
from web
in reply to sonapanos
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Still waiting on winning Celebrity Death Watch brand id. Props to @ @ & @ for trying, even if they were kinda weak
8:22 PM Sep 16th
from web
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@ Credit for knowing my origins. To your Q: In my Universe, Richards' standup kills his audience. Literally. He executes them.
3:58 PM Sep 16th
from Tweetie
in reply to andypanda514
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Due to the glut of famous people dying, I'm planning to launch a 24-hour "Celebrity Death Watch" channel. Pitch me your naming ideas.
2:30 PM Sep 16th
from web
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What's all this Joe Wilson hubbub? He was just promoting his new favorite sport "Jai Alai"
9:28 AM Sep 10th
from Tweetie
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Sure, stay in school if you want to fill your head with lots of useless "knowledge." Or come hench for me, and I'll tell you what to think
3:55 PM Sep 8th
from Tweetie
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Happy Labor Day, America. Now get back to work, peons.
6:03 PM Sep 7th
from Tweetie
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props to those who me: @ @ -- who else wants to join the club?
1:40 PM Sep 4th
from web
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@ that's exactly right, Billy. The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire.
8:49 PM Sep 2nd
from Tweetie
in reply to andypanda514
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In case anyone asks, I didn't start the fire.
8:29 AM Sep 2nd
from web
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@ It's a good way to test the resolve of your minions: replying to them randomly teaches obedience. Like you would for a pet.
12:54 PM Aug 29th
from Tweetie
in reply to JustinLongLA
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My personal minion publicist @ has been pimping me out for interviews, or as I like to call them "evil-views."
1:33 PM Aug 27th
from Tweetie
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@ A confusing message: are you telling your followers to be pussies? If so, thank you: they will be easier to subjugate
11:52 AM Aug 26th
from web
in reply to rainnwilson
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@ Only if it's a shout out... for evil. As explained before, if @ were to follow me, it could destroy this universe
11:48 AM Aug 26th
from web
in reply to tracybb
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@ I don't know of this @, but he sounds like my kind of fellow.
12:16 PM Aug 25th
from web
in reply to spookyfoxmulder
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Now there's a blockbuster: Aliens vs. Purina
7:06 PM Aug 23rd
from web
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I mean, they've got all those laser rifles, so why trade for cat food... when they could take over a cat food factory?
7:01 PM Aug 23rd
from web
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- Name Evil Ben Stiller
- Location Evil LA
- Web http://bit.ly/MMST
- Bio Parody account not affiliated with Ben Stiller. You're in my world now, grandma! (But I'm not the Ben Stiller of this universe.)
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