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EvilBenStiller

  1. dear twitter: sorry about breaking you with my awesomeness.
  2. grunge is still cool in this universe, right?
  3. The seven who have unfollowed me recently will suffer eternal torment. You know who you are. The rest are guaranteed nirvana. or pearl jam.
  4. @sonapanos Follow in my evil ways, Sona. I will show you how to overcome your master @danharmon. My minions are legion and funnier (looking)
  5. Still waiting on winning Celebrity Death Watch brand id. Props to @ZenGrouch @SeanHarr & @_pianta_ for trying, even if they were kinda weak
  6. @andypanda514 Credit for knowing my origins. To your Q: In my Universe, Richards' standup kills his audience. Literally. He executes them.
  7. Due to the glut of famous people dying, I'm planning to launch a 24-hour "Celebrity Death Watch" channel. Pitch me your naming ideas.
  8. What's all this Joe Wilson hubbub? He was just promoting his new favorite sport "Jai Alai" http://tr.im/ylMQ
  9. Sure, stay in school if you want to fill your head with lots of useless "knowledge." Or come hench for me, and I'll tell you what to think
  10. Happy Labor Day, America. Now get back to work, peons.
  11. props to those who #FridayFollow me: @missPieces @tracybb -- who else wants to join the #FF club?
  12. @andypanda514 that's exactly right, Billy. The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire.
  13. In case anyone asks, I didn't start the fire.
  14. @JustinLongLA It's a good way to test the resolve of your minions: replying to them randomly teaches obedience. Like you would for a pet.
  15. My personal minion publicist @tracybb has been pimping me out for interviews, or as I like to call them "evil-views."
  16. @rainnwilson A confusing message: are you telling your followers to be pussies? If so, thank you: they will be easier to subjugate
  17. @tracybb Only if it's a shout out... for evil. As explained before, if @redhourben were to follow me, it could destroy this universe
  18. @spookyfoxmulder I don't know of this @EvilBrentSpiner, but he sounds like my kind of fellow.
  19. Now there's a blockbuster: Aliens vs. Purina
  20. I mean, they've got all those laser rifles, so why trade for cat food... when they could take over a cat food factory?