EvanRoder
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Johnny Damon... Look I love you and all, but my great grandma can throw harder than you, and she's dead.
about 19 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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Entire sleeve of Ritz crackers, YOU HAVE BEEN VANQUISHED!
about 20 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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Words with Friends is cool and all, but I'd prefer to play with my enemies. It would make CRUSHING THEM so much more satisfying.
12:49 PM May 25th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I had a nightmare so bad that I woke up with a nosebleed. Get at me!!!!!!
8:32 AM May 23rd
via web
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@ pfsh I'm amazing
7:44 PM May 22nd
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to taylor_keaton
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@ Amazing, right?
7:42 PM May 22nd
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to taylor_keaton
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@ THERE WAS A SNAKE IN MY BOOT!
6:16 PM May 22nd
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to afeil5
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Shout out to prime numbers.
6:13 PM May 22nd
via Twitter for Android
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We are all aware that Jesus totally popped Mary’s cherry on the way out, right?
3:06 PM May 22nd
via web
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@ Mwuhahaha I am a genius!!!!!
8:50 AM May 22nd
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to afeil5
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Rye bread, why won't you fit in my toaster? Fuck it, I am tearing you in half.
8:46 AM May 22nd
via Twitter for iPhone
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I'm convinced all white people look alike. Especially old white people. Even more especially old white people named Frank Sinatra.
7:37 AM May 21st
via web
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Just got a bacon burger donut sandwich. Fuck to the fuck yes.
8:15 PM May 19th
via Twitter for iPhone
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White bread is so awful. Rye bread is so good. Can we outlaw white bread? Anyone who enjoys white bread is wrong.
9:38 AM May 19th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I'm going to start attending non alcoholics anonymous. I just want to be right when I scream, "I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!"
6:34 PM May 18th
via Twitter for iPhone
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And only for kids.
1:50 PM May 18th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I wonder if Lebron James has ever beat the Elite Four.
1:43 PM May 18th
via web
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@ I agree. With all the annoying stuff he does, it's cool to see him act well.
7:37 AM May 17th
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to MatthewDineen1
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King Felix just got rocked. It's weird, I thought most kings got beheaded or thrown into rampaging wildebeest.
6:01 PM May 16th
via web
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Just watched "World's Greatest Dad". Best movie about failed autoerotic asphyxiation I've ever seen. Also one of my favorites ever now.
4:26 PM May 16th
via web
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- Name Evan Roder
- Location Lakewood, Ohio
- Web http://thegrainde...
- Bio I'm Evan Roder. An aspiring filmmaker, aspiring comic, aspiring writer, aspiring aspiration aspirererer, and successful failure.
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