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ethanschwartz

  1. CONTEST: Check into Ellen’s 1500th show with @Viggle app! bit.ly/xC34iE | RT for a chance to win free movie tix! bit.ly/KoDVRy 8:22 AM May 18th via web
  2. @originalwyllys you're getting a bouncin' opener 6:57 PM Dec 29th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone in reply to originalwyllys
  3. @originalwyllys French Canadian? 5:50 PM Dec 29th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone in reply to originalwyllys
  4. finished Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson amzn.to/pH5RaN #Kindle 8:13 PM Dec 6th, 2011 via Kindle
  5. @pattonoswalt any episode of the wire season 4. 10:21 PM Sep 4th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone in reply to pattonoswalt
  6. Just saw a morbidly obese guy on a handicapped scooter powering through the 3rd red bull of his Publix sojourn. America! 4:54 PM May 16th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  7. Mega millions is up to $248 million thus ensuring it will be won by a crystal meth addict from Oklahoma 8:19 AM Mar 19th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  8. Nothing like hearing the scissor sisters over the PA in a deep south truck stop 7:07 AM Mar 15th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  9. I saw a woman eating a baked potato bigger than my daughter and she had a funnel cake chaser taboot #houstonrodeo'd 12:22 PM Mar 6th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  10. I believe the population of Houston is one giant Mallomar 6:14 PM Mar 5th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  11. How long until "winning" becomes borat's "nice?" #ithinkiheardmymomsaywinningtoday 4:32 PM Mar 5th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  12. I'm in the midst of "real" America. Take that New York, California, South Florida and gay ass Vermont! #houstonrodeo'd 4:07 PM Mar 5th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  13. 90 minute commute not so bad when @howardstern is on fire 6:14 AM Feb 16th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  14. Maserati as background music during Jeopardy's Watson episode. All sorts of awesomesauce 6:13 PM Feb 14th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  15. @msmmcdonald I try not to watch a lot of reality tv. Do game shows count? 2:12 PM Feb 14th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone in reply to msmmcdonald
  16. I'm noticing a lot more missing teeth on television these days 2:10 PM Feb 14th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  17. Bieber seizures from arcade fires epileptic light show. 8:18 PM Feb 13th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  18. Eminem could punch chuck Norris through the sun 7:54 PM Feb 13th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  19. Now a babs/eminem duet I can get behind. 7:47 PM Feb 13th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone