ethanschwartz
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CONTEST: Check into Ellen’s 1500th show with @ app! | RT for a chance to win free movie tix!
8:22 AM May 18th
via web
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@ you're getting a bouncin' opener
6:57 PM Dec 29th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to originalwyllys
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@ French Canadian?
5:50 PM Dec 29th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to originalwyllys
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finished Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson
8:13 PM Dec 6th, 2011
via Kindle
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@ any episode of the wire season 4.
10:21 PM Sep 4th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to pattonoswalt
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Just saw a morbidly obese guy on a handicapped scooter powering through the 3rd red bull of his Publix sojourn. America!
4:54 PM May 16th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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Mega millions is up to $248 million thus ensuring it will be won by a crystal meth addict from Oklahoma
8:19 AM Mar 19th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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Nothing like hearing the scissor sisters over the PA in a deep south truck stop
7:07 AM Mar 15th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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I saw a woman eating a baked potato bigger than my daughter and she had a funnel cake chaser taboot 'd
12:22 PM Mar 6th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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I believe the population of Houston is one giant Mallomar
6:14 PM Mar 5th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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How long until "winning" becomes borat's "nice?"
4:32 PM Mar 5th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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I'm in the midst of "real" America. Take that New York, California, South Florida and gay ass Vermont! 'd
4:07 PM Mar 5th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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Things that don't get old: reminders of a 0.0 GPA at UM and the greatest eulogy ever.
12:28 PM Feb 20th, 2011
via web
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90 minute commute not so bad when @ is on fire
6:14 AM Feb 16th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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Maserati as background music during Jeopardy's Watson episode. All sorts of awesomesauce
6:13 PM Feb 14th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ I try not to watch a lot of reality tv. Do game shows count?
2:12 PM Feb 14th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to msmmcdonald
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I'm noticing a lot more missing teeth on television these days
2:10 PM Feb 14th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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Bieber seizures from arcade fires epileptic light show.
8:18 PM Feb 13th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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Eminem could punch chuck Norris through the sun
7:54 PM Feb 13th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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Now a babs/eminem duet I can get behind.
7:47 PM Feb 13th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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- Name Ethan Schwartz
- Location Athens, GA
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