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EricCunningham

  1. @erinmallorylong @DanMannella Ransom? Mel Gibson voice: "GIMME BACK GOLDBLUM"
  2. I'd watch the hell out of a supercut of cars bottoming out in driveways.
  3. @ErinHBarker @story_collider That my dad liked the remote working more than I liked a tickled tongue.
  4. @story_collider A five-year-old licking batteries eventually wanted to know why he did. #IAmScience
  5. @ascunn I'm trolling meetup.com for free t-shirts.
  6. How much is this free t-shirt? $27? Cool, that's what I thought a free t-shirt cost. bit.ly/K5jPgE
  7. In the first draft of Watchmen, the genius Ozymandias brought the world to its knees by coining the phrase "earn cash back as you shop".
  8. Thanks @thejoshpatten for introducing us to the #sheeple hashtag.
  9. Son: "Papa, I have too many books to carry to schoolhouse, may I have a bag for my books?" Dad (drunk): "Here, use this belt." - the 1910s.
  10. @themutiny "I'm Michael Caine. I'll have a number six, no pickles."
  11. Is there a Michael Caine impression that DOESN'T start with "I'm Michael Caine"?
  12. @jasonpickar Whelp, I'll never not be able to see that now.
  13. Did they give that little girl who says "Daddy OK!" in her car commercial all the Oscars yet? WELL ORDER SOME MORE THEN.
  14. "Where The Streets Have No Name" is one of those songs where you just sing the title over and over, right?
  15. Scratchitti artists who tag toilet seats: what's the branding goal here?
  16. You can sign me up for every etiquette class under the sun, but I'm always gonna eat food like it's the last corpse on Zombie Island.
  17. Ear and frontal are the king and queen of lobes.
  18. Who's in? YOU BETTER NOT HAVE A FUCKING COLD. meetup.com/Will-You-Be-Ch…
  19. @jasonpickar You are brave to join me in confronting Big Tomato.