EightBitsShort
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@ I think you just volunteered to trade relatives next Thanksgiving. You're in for a treat. Also: HIDE THE GOOD TOWELS.
about 4 hours ago
from web
in reply to thesearedays
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Ironically, he's the brother whose post shower routine includes bursting from the bathroom naked, while butt-flossing with the GOOD towels.
about 6 hours ago
from web
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"How do you *live* like this? It's uncivilized." -My brother, while watching football on my 26" TV.
about 7 hours ago
from web
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"That feels good, sir!" I hope I'm not the only one who wonders what Marcie & Peppermint Patty do off screen.
5:10 PM Nov 26th
from web
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Watching my brother eat a banana & scratch himself as he watches football on the couch, I feel like Jane Goodall.
1:53 PM Nov 26th
from web
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"What an ADORABLE photo! Are those little white suspenders?"
"Not exactly."
1 Polaroid + 1 ill-timed atomic wedgie = a lifetime of indignity
5:49 PM Nov 25th
from web
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Mom: "You know what YOUR problem is?"
Me: "You mean BESIDES a shallow gene pool?"
It's official. The holiday has begun.
3:48 PM Nov 25th
from web
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I would've asked her out, but then I would've had to talk to her. Also, I'm running low on hit points and I can't believe I think this way.
3:57 PM Nov 23rd
from web
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O hai sexy lady in the "H2G2, R2-D2" shirt.
I see you're reading a Richard Feynman book.
Where have you been all my life?
I'm your density.
10:13 AM Nov 23rd
from Twittelator
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Every time I hear Brits talk, I want to interrupt and say, "No, no, you're doing it wrong! Want to hear a *good* C-3PO impression?"
5:06 PM Nov 22nd
from web
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Sometimes I wish Bono would just shut up and quit looking.
Unless he's looking for humility.
Because he could really use some of *that*.
2:18 PM Nov 22nd
from web
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Look, I enjoy a little sideboob just as much as the next guy, but those overalls are *way* too small for you, sir.
3:52 PM Nov 21st
from web
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A picture of a bird in the hand and an ounce of prevention are worth a thousand pounds of cure in the bush and why don't these units cancel?
5:15 PM Nov 20th
from web
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@ Absolutely. "Any Way You Want It." Uh oh. People just figured out that we're old.
4:39 PM Nov 20th
from web
in reply to thesearedays
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@ Good news. Mom says I can *totally* borrow the station wagon! It's got genuine simulated wood paneling and an 8-Track player!
4:25 PM Nov 20th
from web
in reply to thesearedays
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"Punishing the primate."
3:49 PM Nov 20th
from web
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It's pretty clear that all the king's horses and all the king's men *really* liked omelets. Humpty was pushed, people.
3:45 PM Nov 19th
from Twittelator
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One of my friends only stars my tweets when they have typos.
Her starcasm is positively charming.
*That's* not a typo.
10:20 AM Nov 19th
from Twittelator
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"Out of all my sisters, she's by far the best kisser."
If bus dude is going to listen in on my call, I might as well make it memorable.
3:51 PM Nov 18th
from Twittelator
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When an introverted colleague is described as "about as shy as the Higgs boson", you might be sitting at the nerd table.
10:27 AM Nov 18th
from Twittelator
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- Name S Dub
- Location Dallas, Texas
- Web http://favstar.fm...
- Bio Kindergarten Report Card: Enjoys nappy time. Does not play well with other children.
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