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EffingBoring

  1. Happy birthday @mdigcat and @Moltz (and me)! Best Twitter birthday since @irreverend and @weselec had the same birthday.
  2. Kevin who? The Jonas Whatnows? Happy Birthday, @Moltz ! #HappyBirthdayMoltz
  3. RALLY BRA
  4. I just flew in from Maine, and boy is my marriage threatened by the gays.
  5. Also three cheers for @LILWAYNESWORLD, who gets to go home from the hospital TODAY for the first time in months! You kick ass, Aimee!
  6. Gay Marriages for all! BOO! Gay Marriages for none! BOO! Very well, Gay Marriages for some, ultraconservative xenophobes for others! YAY!
  7. Since it's the night shift, I don't have to joke about my anger re: the inappropriateness of letting voters decide Civil Rights issues.
  8. A sincere thanks for limping into a win, Phillies! The way the Yankees almost closed a 7-run gap made me feel like I was watching my Mets.
  9. No, I wasn't "Sexy Charlotte the Spider" for Halloween. I was Charlotte, and the costume failed to mask my unwieldy Sexy. Not my problem.
  10. @hotdogsladies They prefer "bonermongers"
  11. You GUYS here is a picture of my boyfriend crouching inside a dumbwaiter: http://bit.ly/1vugJj
  12. @hotdogsladies That wasn't necessarily about you! (I didn't end up unfaving it.)
  13. This is a picture of my tricked-out Saturday evening (fuck bitches, make money, &c.) http://brizzly.com/pic/C4F
  14. Oh me? Just contemplating unfaving a tweet since I realized it's an allusion to snow and not a surrealist tableau involving skiing on poop.
  15. Texting @AinsleyofAttack a picture of my penis.
  16. Cliff Lee also just impregnated me.
  17. @illudwinnepooh4 I don't actually have a blog. I occasionally put things on the internet at http://bit.ly/BKbbn , but no blog as yet.
  18. HOW COULD YOU READ MY BLOG AND NOT LOVE ME
  19. Maybe I'll have Unemployed Sim overcome her crippling anxiety and spiraling feelings of worthlessness to goddamn apply for one fucking job.
  20. 1. Tragic kitsch-news sensation 2. just in time for Halloween 3. during a recession 4. involves common household products? WAKE UP SHEEPLE