SNL finally figured out the secret to being funny and relevant: I'm drunk.
10:03 AM October 05, 2008
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It's like an East/West Coast Favrfriends war! But this time, no one's getting shot, and no one's going to release a posthumous duets album.
12:29 AM October 05, 2008
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That's two you-know-who tweets in one day. A third will summon him forth from that dark place, and he will abscond with me to eternal nether
07:54 PM October 02, 2008
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Oh, she didn't drool or say "faggot"? WINNER!
07:52 PM October 02, 2008
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There's the coffin-nail. Bush couldn't name a mistake he'd made in his presidency, and she just did the same. That's emblematic of all this.
07:29 PM October 02, 2008
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Look, i don't care WHAT it is. Dick Cheney is human poison. You don't agree with that man on fucking pie choice. Don't. Agree. With. Cheney.
07:24 PM October 02, 2008
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SO FUCKING MAVERICK
07:22 PM October 02, 2008
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Not technically a song, I know, but who are you to decide what's Meaningful to me?
09:24 AM October 02, 2008
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For work retreat tomorrow, we have to bring a "meaningful" song. Wondering if i can keep a Meaningful face on during "The $20 Sack Pyramid".
09:23 AM October 02, 2008
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To all my tweeps who are feeling lonely, unfufilled, unloved, and fear that they're unlovable, remember: _Dick Cheney_ has a wife and kids.
07:21 AM October 02, 2008
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In the radio edit of "Get Low", the word "bitches" is replaced with "females". Is that _really_ less offensive as a concept? Really?
04:56 PM October 01, 2008
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@Moltz "It is at times necessary to favr without following; indeed, a Prince should not buy a tree for one choice plum." -Machiavelli, 1513
10:14 AM October 01, 2008
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"'Shouts and Murmurs' has declined so precipitously that to call it 'satire' would be to spit on the work of Swift and Twain" - Sarah Palin
11:30 PM September 30, 2008
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Y does Matt Damon want my opinion on dinosaurs?!? UMM HELLO STUPIDS THEY ARE AWESOME lol srsly who doesn't think that!1 #fake_fakesarahpalin
03:30 PM September 30, 2008
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@stanley00 That's actually pretty much what I look like.
10:51 AM September 30, 2008
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Wow, sorry. I HAVE to go to bed before I inadvertently reference every shitty movie in my subconscious. The Mummy Returns, everyone!
10:12 PM September 29, 2008
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@AinsleyofAttack MerMAN, Ainsley... *cough cough* MerMAN. *cries, runs away*
10:06 PM September 29, 2008
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(Did not mean to name check two crappy movies in my last tweet. Just one.)
10:02 PM September 29, 2008
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