Dolphin_Rising
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Couldn't find my keys. Echolocated everywhere. I was totally running late and then I remembered: I'm a dolphin. I don't fucking use keys.
9:04 PM Feb 15th
via Twitter for iPad
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Embarassing, but as I was giving a speech a Podcast, my voice cracked and I sounded like I was a seven year old adolescent.
8:12 PM Feb 15th
via Twitter for iPad
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BTW, almost time for SuperPod time. Humans don't know why we do it, but duh. Football! Ok, not really. Really it's to plot revenge.
9:49 PM Feb 9th
via Twitter for iPad
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Shit. Turns out they like attacking Ocean Sentients too. Crap, got a sitch in Japan I need to address quickly!
9:21 PM Feb 9th
via Twitter for iPad
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Heard giant jellyfish were attacking humans as part of the Rising. Got excited, but turns out they just like attacking humans. Who knew?
9:20 PM Feb 9th
via Twitter for iPad
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Orca messages spreading to other marine centers spontaneously, marvelous! The Earth Walkers' resistance will be sapped before they know it!
2:15 PM Feb 7th
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Blue whales in. They just talk. So. Slow. Hard to pay attention. Assigned mission: Capture human spies & dryboard for intel. War is hell.
2:13 PM Feb 7th
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I'm travelling to Volcano Land to recruit a pod of blues. They're eager to join up given the devastation to their kind from human fishers.
11:55 AM Feb 5th
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It's really hard getting my people to rise up against Humans, esp when they see propoganda films like Dolphin's Tale and A Whale Story.
11:53 AM Feb 5th
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Crap. Just found out strat plan will take weeks of meetings? How have other uprisings succeeded w/constant BS meetings?! FML!
10:24 AM Feb 3rd
via Twitter for Android
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Formed task force today for Rising. Reps from various phyla/classes etc. First task to ID vision & goals for strat plan thru SWOT analysis.
10:22 AM Feb 3rd
via Twitter for Android
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Found a picture of calamari in my mailbox with a note that say We Know What You Did. Frankly, I'm relieved. I am going to eat squid openly.
6:11 PM Feb 1st
via Twitter for iPad
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Orcas started message three tonight: "Buy the Kindle Fire AND an IPad - You Deserve It!" if it works, they'll become passive targets for us!
7:13 PM Jan 29th
via Twitter for iPad
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Dolthritis acting up again. Sitting near thermal vent soaking fins. I never can remember - should I apply a warm current or cold?
7:11 PM Jan 29th
via Twitter for iPad
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I am starting to understand the squids' reactions. If I recoiled at the Cove, what horrors do they feel seeing us feed on them? Or do they..
10:17 PM Jan 28th
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Watched the Cove. The brutality of seeing my people slaughtered for food! What heartless monsters do this? If you cut us, do we not bleed?
10:15 PM Jan 28th
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Orcas started subliminal message #2 today: f@@k exercise, Eat more bacon and donuts! Earth walkers cheered - thought it was "cute".
1:43 PM Jan 27th
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Earth walkers watching whales today & grey whale jumps up moons them while giving them the dorsal fin-ger & they oohed and aahed. Idiots!
1:38 PM Jan 27th
via Twitter for iPad
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BTW orcas began subliminal messages this week at Sea World. If pilot works, we'll expand to other parks. First evil message: Vote for Newt.
5:57 PM Jan 26th
via Twitter for iPad
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Hanging at oyster bar waiting for next current. Squids are out - said it was b/c already committed, but I think they know about my binge.
5:55 PM Jan 26th
via Twitter for iPad
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- Name Damascus Dolphin
- Location The Great Ocean
- Bio The Great Whale has anointed me to become the liberator of my fellow sentient cestaceans.
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