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DoctorCocktagon

  1. Typical morning. First 20 minutes spent cursing like a sailor, then crying out for help from imaginary gods. Oh, happy thanksgiving. 10:00 AM Nov 26th from Tweetie
  2. Made a turkey out of my hand by choking my chicken. It's kindergarten all over again. 2:48 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie
  3. @jimgoad we all know the wind won't break me, not the other way around. 2:44 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie in reply to jimgoad
  4. Wow, I've been gone for months and nothing's changed. @ladyfox is tweeting everything as it enters her brain, @Blognigger is killing, etc... 6:39 PM Nov 23rd from Tweetie
  5. The Doctor is back in. Don't fuck it up this time, faggots. 6:36 PM Nov 23rd from Tweetie
  6. @kattotherina Mud? Well if we're getting metaphorical here, then yea, I like 'em dirty. 3:14 AM Sep 22nd from Tweetie in reply to kattotherina
  7. Remember: Treat women like dirt, and they'll stick to you like mud. 3:51 PM Sep 21st from Tweetie
  8. Have you been run over by a giant penis or vagina? Contact the law offices of Cumstein and Feldersnatch, to have your case heard. 10:47 AM Sep 14th from Tweetie
  9. SMS from my roommate: "I'm waiting to see doctor now. It's so nice out today. My feet make me want to die." 6:18 AM Sep 1st from Tweetie
  10. @blognigger Now that we have a black president, they probably think the same thing. 6:40 AM Aug 28th from Tweetie in reply to blognigger
  11. Maybe because it's the flavor of a Luna Bar® "Nutrition bar for women," but "Nutz Over Chocolate" sounds like an awesome sexual position. 6:31 AM Aug 28th from Tweetie
  12. New lesson: Being in a relationship w/ someone else also using facebook, quickly turns that site into a minefield of imaginary horrors. 6:13 AM Aug 28th from Tweetie
  13. @blognigger @street_carnage They doctor these pictures to make them look more guilty http://bit.ly/2SKLfK 5:01 PM Aug 27th from Tweetie
  14. Has the prison system moved to liquid hand soap instead of bars, or do they just let the rapes continue? 1:15 PM Aug 25th from Tweetie
  15. "..I saw a man masturbating in one of the windows...That's when it left the funny side and moved to the gross, dark side." http://tr.im/x53e 10:18 AM Aug 25th from Tweetie
  16. Hasidic Jew skulking around behind my building. Thinking of calling the police... Obama's America where we move beyond race, realized. 8:25 AM Aug 24th from Tweetie
  17. Seeing my shrink tomorrow. Going 2 tell him Prozac has negatively affected my favrd count; switch me to something else. (via @nonlinearmind) 8:04 AM Aug 24th from Tweetie
  18. Personally, I find Carrot Top's new character "'Roid Head," much funnier than his old bit ever was. 7:47 AM Aug 24th from Tweetie
  19. Fresh English expression of the day: You will enjoy something > It'll nice up your chest mate... 10:52 PM Aug 23rd from Tweetie
  20. Just because you're not speaking English, doesn't mean your voice is out of the range of human hearing. Stop fucking YELLING on the MTA. 11:39 AM Aug 21st from Tweetie
  • Name Doctor Cocktagon
  • Location Outside the dome
  • Web http://www.thebla...
  • Bio Digging your grave just for reading this
27 Following 177 Followers 4 Listed