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What do you guys think of 'Page Load Error' as a girls name?about 9 hours agofrom web
Just informed the Castro Radioshack that nextdoor was on fire because I saw it on Twitter. They had no idea. I am Batman.about 12 hours agofrom Tweetie
Moving from Oakland to San Francisco requires people for a fire bucket line, except everyone is trying to put it out with clothes and boxes.about 16 hours agofrom web
Do you know what I love the most about not being able to answer rhetorical questions?about 20 hours agofrom web
It's moving day. I expect to cross the Bay Bridge at least 6 times today. And stairs. Lots and lots of stairs. And stares. Boxes and pain.about 21 hours agofrom web
My girlfriend ate a whole bag of cookies and now it sounds like she's tossing lemons in the toilet. I hope I remembered to remove my lemons.about 22 hours agofrom web
I just watched Angels & Demons and the best part is still the explosion at the end when I yelled 'MacGruber!'12:04 AM Jul 9thfrom web
I c-c-c-could burn this whole place d-d-down.6:57 PM Jul 8thfrom web
@I_am_Ozma Rape jokes almost never work. I am not completely wrong, but instead, I don't think you understood what I was saying.6:45 PM Jul 8thfrom web
I just don't know how I am going to keep up with you guys without stopping and waiting.5:58 PM Jul 8thfrom Tweetie
I should start a website devoted entirely to horrible tragedies that have occurred throughout history on anyone's birth date.4:30 PM Jul 8thfrom web
I only use volunteer rape victims to demonstrate how to defend yourself against false accusations. They agree to disagree.4:27 PM Jul 8thfrom web