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Dianasaurus

  1. Pen fell asleep on her own in her crib. This has never happened. Trying to ignore the fact that Benadryl was involved and celebrate. 8:10 AM Dec 7th from web
  2. @SaraJBenincasa the divacup is my boo 6:59 PM Nov 30th from UberTwitter in reply to SaraJBenincasa
  3. Penelope farted and Will laughed. I think this is a developmental milestone. #twinfants #proudmother 5:51 PM Nov 27th from web
  4. Mom quote: I mean he could be half dwarf. He could have dwarf tendencies. #gold #unintentionalhilarity 8:39 PM Nov 24th from web
  5. Quote from my mother: I could wipe my ass with what he says. #thisiswhytwitterwasinvented #motherwisdom 6:23 PM Nov 24th from web
  6. Quote: "I'm only shaving my pits tonight because I'm wearing a halter." @ejthecomic 1:34 PM Nov 21st from web
  7. Pediatrician laid down the law on Penelope's ass. There will be sleep training. Oh yes, there will be sleep training. 11:02 AM Nov 20th from web
  8. Long story short: Penelope will never be given prunes again. #parentingFAIL #fecalmatters #ocdhandwashing 8:54 PM Nov 16th from TweetDeck
  9. Thanks for the love. I have a nasty habit of going into hermit-mode during personal life crises. #LIFEFAIL 7:53 PM Nov 16th from TweetDeck
  10. Bitchez, I am back. Because the internet can never have too many complaining SAHMs. #twinfants #housewifery 7:44 PM Nov 16th from web
  11. Thanks to @fister_sister for the inspiration: KLONOPIN! MY DRUG IS AN AWESOME DRUG IT REIGNS IN THE DSM ABOVE! 1:49 PM Sep 30th from web
  12. If only we belonged to a church...Will would make such a great Aryan Baby Jesus for a nativity. 10:40 AM Sep 30th from web
  13. Benny Ninja is both fetal and ancient. #antm #gaylove 8:12 PM Sep 29th from web
  14. Sometimes when I get sad, I just think about Benny Ninja and the laser beam challenge. http://bit.ly/3PpKi9 8:04 PM Sep 29th from web
  15. Please, Christ, someone adopt my cats. I'm not even joking. Two adults, two infants, two cats in less than 700 sq ft is not okay. Help. 5:56 PM Sep 29th from web
  16. http://twitpic.com/jm9d0 - Maury says SHE IS DEFINITELY YOUR DAUGHTER! Now we can put that pesky maternity question to rest. 10:18 AM Sep 29th from TwitPic
  17. @manhattanspeak @4manspeak - Wanna meet up at Ft Tryon on Sunday? 9:36 AM Sep 29th from web
  18. @manhattanspeak @4manspeak - No fair. It's my bday. Thanks for the non-stop whining, kids. #twinfants #fuckery 9:23 AM Sep 29th from web
  19. @manhattanspeak - Mine are going apeshit with the whining. 9:05 AM Sep 29th from web in reply to manhattanspeak
  20. @SaraJBenincasa - Yes, it'll be called Constant Craving: A Life Half-Lived. 5:18 AM Sep 29th from web in reply to SaraJBenincasa