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DevonRiley

  1. I'm gonna stuff this year's bird with black powder, effectively taking care of two holidays at once. It'll be Independencegiving. Wear a bib 8:59 AM Nov 25th from web
  2. Soakin' up a LUSH bath bomb. Effervesce so fresh! 2:54 PM Aug 28th from web
  3. Do you see these sweetass pegs? Do you know how much shit I can grind, with these bad boys? Do you have ANY idea how many babes want a ride? 10:55 AM Jul 16th from web
  4. @Juese Run Run, like Shaw, or you fall at the heel of my boot. 1:39 PM May 11th from web
  5. "I thought maybe we could go to the movies, or... http://tinyurl.com/o8etc9 . You know. Whatever. I'm cool with anything, really." 1:26 PM May 11th from web
  6. Perhaps, you'd like to visit my fiery furnace? 11:00 AM May 11th from web
  7. With Ching-Chong in Vegas, Crackers in Paris, and the ol'Fidget under arrest, we're down to 'Stache, Dog Lady, and the Mysterioüs Foreigner. 9:42 PM May 8th from web
  8. Potential names for first born sons: Lancaster; Texas; Cigar Store Indian. 7:45 AM Feb 28th from web
  9. Deepest, bluest; my head is like a shark's fin. 7:33 AM Feb 28th from web
  10. Scoured my kitchen to a near mirror sheen, and it only took me until 8am. Certain crevices could only be described as smelling "hamesque". 6:03 AM Jan 31st from web
  11. I feel a megacleaning meltdown a'brewing. I'mma tear this place apart, with this mop. And, J5 on Tom Green Live - http://tinyurl.com/2af8kh 10:15 AM Jan 30th from web
  12. Too suffer a second beard? My Springs turn Fall, and my Summers Winter. Don't ask me of my Autumns, as I'll surely be dead. A bearded husk. 12:24 AM Jan 29th from web
  13. Baths: While an inferior means of cleaning one's self, considerably more wasteful, and time consuming, you can't float a duckie in a shower. 8:07 AM Jan 19th from web
  14. I've allotted more time to wine than computer, for the better part of two months. I don't quite know what's what, yet I can't seem to care. 3:49 PM Dec 30th, 2008 from web
  15. Devon Riley is the laziest laymen. 9:26 PM Dec 27th, 2008 from web
  16. The door is ajar. The game is afoot. 1:54 PM Dec 12th, 2008 from web
  17. If all I have is potential, I hope you choke on it. I'm going to kill you with all I could do. Murder is motivation enough. Let's learn. 3:09 AM Dec 8th, 2008 from web
  18. @henny Zing! Sick burn. You sure showed that institution. 10:09 PM Dec 4th, 2008 from web in reply to henny
  19. Shark, I think you've had enough. It's time to go home to your wife. She's worried about you. We all are. http://tinyurl.com/6ndvzs 11:08 AM Dec 4th, 2008 from web
  20. Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye, four & twenty Blackbirds baked into a flying fortress. 12:04 PM Dec 1st, 2008 from web