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DerekZane

  1. @navesssa Maybe you don't make enough food jokes. about 2 hours ago via web in reply to navesssa
  2. The episode where the gang saves The Max...oh man, it gets me every time. #SavedByTheBell about 2 hours ago via web
  3. My Spirit Animal is a vat of Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream. about 4 hours ago via Microsoft
  4. This is my political joke: I wonder if Mitt is short for Mitten. Sorry. I don't really follow politics much. about 6 hours ago via Microsoft
  5. "Our strip club needs a sexy name. Something that will make guys want to come see beautiful women." "How about Spearmint Rhino?" "Perfect!" about 8 hours ago via Microsoft
  6. @rothgar Artists and writers throughout time would disagree. I think you're right though. 8:16 PM May 24th via Microsoft in reply to rothgar
  7. @sleepyxpanda Nuh uh. Genius! 7:07 PM May 24th via Microsoft in reply to sleepyxpanda
  8. Somebody please tell Magic Johnson it's Dwayne, not Duhwayne. 4:38 PM May 24th via Microsoft
  9. @Matty_Softmitts Henna? 4:36 PM May 24th via Microsoft in reply to Matty_Softmitts
  10. I think sobriety is stunting my creativity. 4:26 PM May 24th via Microsoft
  11. @Matty_Softmitts Tattoos of muscles? 4:23 PM May 24th via Microsoft in reply to Matty_Softmitts
  12. I'm starting to believe the smarter you are the more unlucky you are. It's life's way of balancing things out. 3:02 PM May 24th via Microsoft
  13. I'm so lost. I could really use a fortune cookie right now. 12:39 PM May 24th via Microsoft
  14. Sometimes I write a tweet and think, "If they don't get this then they don't deserve it." And then I delete it because it wasn't funny. 12:37 PM May 24th via Microsoft
  15. I told myself I wouldn't fall in love with a train conductor again. 6:07 PM May 23rd via Microsoft
  16. If you pause your story about someone who passed away to say, "rest in piece," you're guaranteed I won't listen to anything else you say. 4:47 PM May 23rd via Microsoft
  17. Photo: tmblr.co/ZgHsIyL-eCLl 10:41 AM May 23rd via Tumblr
  18. Not everyone wants to Wang Chung tonight, Wang Chung. 10:35 AM May 23rd via Microsoft
  19. I want to watch this trailer. **You must update QuickTime** No thanks. I'll just go see the movie instead. It'll take less time. 6:29 PM May 22nd via web