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DeadByTheRoad

  1. RT @FakeAPStylebook: Avoid using "gadzooks," lest your monocle pop out and land in your jar of mustache wax. 6:46 PM Nov 12th from UberTwitter
  2. I could watch an aardvark try and burrow through the bottom of a blue barrel all day. Not a euphamism. 1:44 PM Nov 10th from UberTwitter
  3. That tamarin hated me. HATED me. 12:25 PM Nov 10th from UberTwitter
  4. Dude, these lions are about to DO IT 11:51 AM Nov 10th from UberTwitter
  5. I just tried to google spike jonze and my computer had a massive heart attack. 10:00 PM Nov 9th from UberTwitter
  6. When I came home last night, the late shift doorman was playing the flute. 4:18 PM Nov 9th from web
  7. Who wouldn't want to see a freak polo accident? 8:46 PM Nov 7th from web
  8. @jakeawesome And now I have a fetish 4:26 PM Nov 7th from web in reply to jakeawesome
  9. Oh wait, my birthday is Monday...whoops. 6:19 PM Nov 6th from UberTwitter
  10. Why is Elvis in front of the Apple store? 5:21 PM Nov 5th from UberTwitter
  11. I know its prolly just lint, but I like thinking this is the fuzzy corpse of a catapiller in this ladys hair. 3:05 PM Nov 5th from UberTwitter
  12. @theisb fuck 2:49 PM Nov 5th from UberTwitter in reply to theisb
  13. I just saw an old man headed to the laundry room with a bottle of detergent and a black, quarter full, lawn and leaf bag. 11:24 AM Nov 5th from web
  14. @Montelcjoiner AND THEN HE GOT YOU PREGNANT 3:12 PM Nov 3rd from web in reply to Montelcjoiner
  15. I enjoy watching people that are people watching. 10:13 AM Nov 3rd from UberTwitter
  16. I just found a dollar off kotex coupon in my free school notebook. Shovies! 8:40 AM Nov 2nd from UberTwitter
  17. I'd like to apologize to anyone that had to smell me last night on the bus 8:19 AM Nov 2nd from UberTwitter
  18. I'm going to try tweeting all day like a bunch of people on my follow list. Failure imminent. 4:56 AM Nov 2nd from web
  19. Why are sofas so expensive? 4:28 AM Nov 2nd from web
  20. I'd like a refund, please. 3:59 AM Nov 2nd from web
  • Name Jerod Moreland
  • Location ÜT: 37.711917,-97.447532
  • Bio I have the oozing charisma of a Gila monster.
66 Following 15 Followers 0 Listed
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