Dave_Horwitz
-
Tiny milkshake was a good idea.
about 9 hours ago
via web
-
Moonrise Kingdom's going to be so good, right? Or bad? Is it bad? Could be good? Just tell me what to think! I just want you to like me!
about 17 hours ago
via web
-
Do religious feminists hate saying Amen? (I actually want to know, so if you don't like this as a joke consider it a question)
about 19 hours ago
via web
-
I like to think that Gallagher looked at his fruit smashing career, said "time for a change," and consciously chose to be racist and insane.
about 20 hours ago
via web
-
Yo! @ is roughly $2,600 away from the goal to raise funding for the @ doc. Please RT!!!!
9:32 PM May 23rd
via Twitter for iPhone
-
"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get younger, they stay the same age." -Benjamin Button McConaughey
4:43 PM May 23rd
via web
-
Me Watching Movie Trailer: I don't know if I'm supposed to think this guy is cool. Trailer: [dubstep] Me: OHHH yeah, he's cool all right!!
3:10 PM May 23rd
via web
-
Man, we all get bummed out at that part of that Wilco song where Tweeds says, "she begs me not to hit her," don't we, white people?
4:52 PM May 22nd
via web
-
How do you invoke The Secret? I could probably Google it, but I'm pretty sure it involves sacrificing a lamb, so I'll just do that.
9:49 AM May 22nd
via web
-
The acoustic ballads my neighbor is BELTING out in Spanish are just the thing I need to help me never sleep again.
12:06 AM May 22nd
via web
-
The next mid-late 90s movie I watch will be determined by the size of the cellphones featured in it. I'm looking for cartoonishly large.
7:00 PM May 21st
via web
-
Oh, you're having a good Monday? Well, the guy who played Gunther on Friends has more money than you ever will. Sorry!
5:48 PM May 21st
via web
-
All my Facebook friends are people I've seen in documentaries. If they didn't want to be pals, they wouldn't use their full names!
1:22 PM May 21st
via web
-
I just really wish I never got this "No Regrets" tattoo.
12:59 PM May 21st
via Twitter for Android
-
Congrats to everyone who intentionally stared at the sun today. Your eyes may hate you, but your Instagram followers "like" you.
9:05 PM May 20th
via web
-
Bob's Burgers is so good. It's so good I can't even think of an articulate thing to say about it. Just everyone watch it forever.
8:49 PM May 20th
via web
-
A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool? BEING YOURSELF!
9:21 PM May 19th
via web
-
Too many unimaginative bachelorette parties are being planned around Magic Mike screenings right now.
12:06 PM May 18th
via web
-
How desperate do you have to be to be green on Gchat? It's like we get it, you're there.
10:48 AM May 18th
via web
-
The only reason there hasn't been a reality tv show about a company that makes reality tv shows is because it would open a wormhole.
9:36 AM May 18th
via web
|
- Name Dave Horwitz
- Location Los Angeles, CA
- Web http://theidiotki...
- Bio I'm the original guy who does stuff like this.
|