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Dave_Horwitz

  1. Tiny milkshake was a good idea. about 9 hours ago via web
  2. Moonrise Kingdom's going to be so good, right? Or bad? Is it bad? Could be good? Just tell me what to think! I just want you to like me! about 17 hours ago via web
  3. Do religious feminists hate saying Amen? (I actually want to know, so if you don't like this as a joke consider it a question) about 19 hours ago via web
  4. I like to think that Gallagher looked at his fruit smashing career, said "time for a change," and consciously chose to be racist and insane. about 20 hours ago via web
  5. "That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get younger, they stay the same age." -Benjamin Button McConaughey 4:43 PM May 23rd via web
  6. Me Watching Movie Trailer: I don't know if I'm supposed to think this guy is cool. Trailer: [dubstep] Me: OHHH yeah, he's cool all right!! 3:10 PM May 23rd via web
  7. Man, we all get bummed out at that part of that Wilco song where Tweeds says, "she begs me not to hit her," don't we, white people? 4:52 PM May 22nd via web
  8. How do you invoke The Secret? I could probably Google it, but I'm pretty sure it involves sacrificing a lamb, so I'll just do that. 9:49 AM May 22nd via web
  9. The acoustic ballads my neighbor is BELTING out in Spanish are just the thing I need to help me never sleep again. 12:06 AM May 22nd via web
  10. The next mid-late 90s movie I watch will be determined by the size of the cellphones featured in it. I'm looking for cartoonishly large. 7:00 PM May 21st via web
  11. Oh, you're having a good Monday? Well, the guy who played Gunther on Friends has more money than you ever will. Sorry! 5:48 PM May 21st via web
  12. All my Facebook friends are people I've seen in documentaries. If they didn't want to be pals, they wouldn't use their full names! 1:22 PM May 21st via web
  13. Congrats to everyone who intentionally stared at the sun today. Your eyes may hate you, but your Instagram followers "like" you. 9:05 PM May 20th via web
  14. Bob's Burgers is so good. It's so good I can't even think of an articulate thing to say about it. Just everyone watch it forever. 8:49 PM May 20th via web
  15. A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool? BEING YOURSELF! 9:21 PM May 19th via web
  16. Too many unimaginative bachelorette parties are being planned around Magic Mike screenings right now. 12:06 PM May 18th via web
  17. How desperate do you have to be to be green on Gchat? It's like we get it, you're there. 10:48 AM May 18th via web
  18. The only reason there hasn't been a reality tv show about a company that makes reality tv shows is because it would open a wormhole. 9:36 AM May 18th via web