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DarrenWells

  1. @Supattack Desert Bus is on the iPhone? SOLD.
  2. I want to buy a bus driving simulator and I don't know why.
  3. Facebook's iPhone app could not be more arse if it were crafted directly from Mark Zuckerberg's buttcheeks.
  4. @Luceobrien Broaden it out to movies in general and you get Conspiracy Theory, Flatliners, Hook...
  5. @josemalene @crunchytiger More like taking your fatty offspring to the liposuction clinic every time he gets too large for your liking...
  6. @spandaslui Sounds like it failed to "rise" to the occasion. #badoomtish
  7. @josemalene So, essentially, I'm like a bad parent, Buffalo Bill, and the witch from Hansel and Gretel all rolled into one.
  8. I have sourdough starter. It looks ugly, I keep it in the fridge, and I feed it every three days. I feel like an abusive parent.
  9. @atablefortwo What a dick.
  10. If you only say happy birthday to @AmandaOeiWells once this year, say it today. Because today is her birthday. So it kind of makes sense.
  11. @eliotfish Purple monkey dishwasher.
  12. @matthewsteen Bazaar Beer Cafe in St Leonards. It defeated me. I limped away with the leftovers in a doggie bag.
  13. I used to be hungry like you. Then I took a pork knuckle to the stomach. twitter.com/DarrenWells/st…
  14. @michaelmeloni @Serrels In Hong Kong, you don't even need to see "The Crying Game" - it's called "Oh No! My Girlfriend Has a Penis!"
  15. @Gameboffin "I was in a computer game. Funny as Hell, it was the most horrible thing I could think of."
  16. Kickstarter! RT @barrymcbruce: @DarrenWells If you killed the monkey in lvl 2 of NOLF you failed the mission due to "Needless Simian Death"
  17. Kickstarter. No One Lives Forever. Kickstarter. No One Lives Forever. Kickstarter. No One Lives Forever. Make it happen.
  18. @crunchytiger @AmandaOeiWells @josemalene I'm on deadline. But if I emerge at a reasonable hour, I'm definitely up for trying some octodog.
  19. @crunchytiger Oh my... bless you, Internet.
  20. "I like tortoises. I'm not bagging them out or anything. But they're not cats." -@shaun_prescott