The arrests being made outside of Phase II last night were for drugs and guns. We could have been killed! Or worse... expelled. #OCprojects

It's more embarrassing than you'd think to be denied a 2nd corn dog by the cafeteria lady.

The harder I thunder up, the more likely my pants are going to thunder off in jubilation.

Just imagine: The same rain drops falling on us right now are also falling on Kevin Durant.

I love Bon Iver, but Justin Vernon is a melodrama queen. His scuffling against the man in defense of ideals of rock'n'roll is just too much.

@TacoBell twitter man, You need to relay this message to the higher-ups: Put more sauce in the sauce packets. They're half-filled with air!

@hashtagvince Dude, I was just about to tweet that exact same thing.

Nice @hashtagvince! Welcome to the upper tier of social media.

If @kelsaroo ever makes you a sandwich, be sure to remind her not to suck the juice off your pickles beforehand. Otherwise... spit sandwich.

@jacobglen A theatrical tinkler is the worst kind of tinkler.

Mozzarella Cheez-It review: Delicious. Mild mozzarella flavor with a nice, lingering aftertaste. A

I'm proud of myself for posting a link to this article: cracked.com/blog/the-7-stu…

@katyjo30 You are in for a real treat. Good choice.

Apparently it's uncouth to laugh out loud at a Freudian slip from the professor, seeing as I was the only one. He did it twice in a row!

Today in Middle-earth: The Bridge of Khazad-dûm, and the fall of Gandalf the Grey. (1419)

A large pizza from Pizza Hut for $10 is a steal? Yeah, if Pizza Hut is the thief!

There is a real danger in listening to too much ABBA in one sitting.

**hair off his own leg. Dogs don't have arms. Don't make that same mistake in 2012.

I am witnessing a dog eat the hair off of his own arm. Last week, he ate a tennis ball. Next week... the CHILDREN!?

Jonas Fans Are Unbreakable : SO SO SO PROUD OF JONAS FANS :)