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Danatkinson

  1. Exfoliating scrub was invented when someone got sand in some lotion and went 'fuck it. Change the label. They'll never notice.' 1:40 PM May 23rd via web
  2. I'm clammier than a bowl of chowder. 12:24 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone
  3. Word on the street seems to be that mice love peanut butter so that is the best bait. Trouble is so do I and I'm not sharing. 10:25 AM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone from Camden, London  
  4. Using chocolate on my mousetraps isn't working at all. Maybe we've got Britain's only diabetic mouse. 8:45 AM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone from Camden, London  
  5. Yog O'clock! 7:53 AM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone from Camden, London  
  6. Tomorrow I'm going to have a burrito for breakfast. That isn't even a joke. 5:45 AM May 18th via Twitter for Mac
  7. Five burritos in five days? Hell yeah. I'm a burritoholic and I don't give a shit. 5:43 AM May 18th via Twitter for Mac
  8. I really, really hope that the Jubilee Thames Pageant is headed up by Freddie Flintoff in a pedalo. 2:22 PM May 17th via web
  9. @karlminns how about one exploring ancient Greek labyrinths? 3:01 AM May 17th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to karlminns
  10. At Whitechapel station, there are two adjacent signs that say 'Underground' and 'Overground'. It's begging for some Womble-based vandalism. 12:36 PM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone
  11. @karlminns that's cos I thought of Holt, not your balls. 5:42 AM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to karlminns
  12. @karlminns i have just been sick in my mouth. 5:41 AM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to karlminns
  13. @karlminns it's all about the aesthetic. I thought you of all people would appreciate beauty over function. 5:40 AM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to karlminns
  14. @karlminns or just not the same shape as a badly made beanbag. 5:34 AM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to karlminns
  15. @StuGoldsmith the biggest irony about this storm in a teacup is that you are not, imho, a prick. 11:11 AM May 9th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to StuGoldsmith
  16. @StuGoldsmith My show 'Death by a thousand Pricks' was originally going to be 'Death by a thousand Cunts'. Much more elegant pun. Denied. 11:10 AM May 9th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to StuGoldsmith
  17. Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Clinton Cards has been boiled down for glue. 5:24 AM May 9th via web
  18. @Herring1967 mind you, that was 2009. A more permissive era. We were all wearing pricks in our hair and putting pricks in the ends of guns. 4:39 PM May 8th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to Herring1967
  19. @Herring1967 My last show was called 'Death by a thousand Pricks' - i had no censorship issues despite the obvious double-meaning 4:37 PM May 8th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to Herring1967