Wed Dec 02 00:34:13 +0000 20096252871359That's funny, AT&T, because your mom is an update over 10MB, and I handled her just fine last night.<a href="http://www.atebits.com/" rel="nofollow">Tweetie</a>falsefalse6699552Girodactylus MiderusgiromideChicago, IL, USAGuilty. Of being awesome! http://a1.twimg.com/profile_images/553214120/bananavatarjolly_normal.pnghttp://favstar.fm/users/giromide/given_tofalse1507ffffff000000a09931eaeb3dfcfe1b467Sat Jun 09 17:03:45 +0000 200768894-21600Central Time (US & Canada)http://a3.twimg.com/profile_background_images/10269827/banana4twitter.jpgfalsefalsetruefalsefalse6345Mon Nov 30 21:30:24 +0000 20096213249290In my day, "Cyber Monday" meant masturbating to whatever Cindy Margolis photos would download before AOL dropped your connection.webfalsefalse7404012Essex Mortimer DoggessdoggCharleston, SCDad. Husband. Author. Cynic. Fashion Icon. Life coach. Lover. Fighter. World Champion. Exaggerator. Cliché.http://a1.twimg.com/profile_images/542476170/groom-avatar_crop_normal.pnghttp://bit.ly/essdoggfalse207601324a01324a08affcFFFFFFFFFFFF294Wed Jul 11 15:04:16 +0000 20071334-18000Eastern Time (US & Canada)http://a3.twimg.com/profile_background_images/2969173/tiles.pngfalsefalsefalsefalsefalse4801Sun Nov 29 14:13:31 +0000 20096170468710Yo mama so fat she trampled several shoppers at Amazon.com.<a href="http://birdhouseapp.com" rel="nofollow">Birdhouse</a>falsefalse6699552Girodactylus MiderusgiromideChicago, IL, USAGuilty. Of being awesome! http://a1.twimg.com/profile_images/553214120/bananavatarjolly_normal.pnghttp://favstar.fm/users/giromide/given_tofalse1507ffffff000000a09931eaeb3dfcfe1b467Sat Jun 09 17:03:45 +0000 200768894-21600Central Time (US & Canada)http://a3.twimg.com/profile_background_images/10269827/banana4twitter.jpgfalsefalsetruefalsefalse6345Fri Nov 27 05:02:21 +0000 20096103521086In a gesture of good will toward turkeys, I had prime rib for Thanksgiving dinner. The god damn cows can go fuck themselves.webfalsefalse3551171John MoltzMoltzTacoma, WA USAI'm told I'm somewhat disappointing in person.http://a1.twimg.com/profile_images/116992556/B9_Torsoe_normal.jpghttp://www.moltz.net/~johnfalse5811FFFFFF0000000000ffe0ff9287bc44195Thu Apr 05 19:33:29 +0000 20076957-28800Pacific Time (US & Canada)http://a3.twimg.com/profile_background_images/4257777/B9_Torsoe.jpgtruefalsefalsefalsefalse7209Wed Nov 18 03:36:17 +0000 20095816594845Maybe the funniest thing I've read on @tfln - "I know Im really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster."<a href="http://birdhouseapp.com" rel="nofollow">Birdhouse</a>falsefalse789913Ryan DrakeRaykeOklahoma City- Student, brother, heroin junkie, S+M Freak, mescaline addict.http://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/287231213/n17116756_36285812_2813.jpg_normal.jpeghttp://www.curbcheckedenthusiasm.comfalse47621A1B1FCC00993399FF252429181A1E1730Fri Feb 23 01:20:12 +0000 20071180-21600Central Time (US & Canada)http://s.twimg.com/a/1261519751/images/themes/theme9/bg.giffalsefalsefalsefalsefalse4275Tue Nov 10 02:31:48 +0000 20095577419929[Barely-remembered acquaintance from grade school] suggested you become a fan of [some inane thing you don't give a crap about.] I'll pass.<a href="http://www.brizzly.com" rel="nofollow">Brizzly</a>falsefalse15615812hollyburnshollyburnsSan FranciscoI'm the last person in the world to get a Twitter account.http://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/465855911/IMG_9341_normal.jpghttp://www.nothingbutbonfires.comfalse20419ae4e80000000000ffe0ff9287bc44143Sun Jul 27 00:30:45 +0000 20080-28800Pacific Time (US & Canada)http://s.twimg.com/a/1261078355/images/themes/theme1/bg.pngfalsefalsefalse1131Mon Nov 09 19:52:55 +0000 20095567187751Danny Evans on #parenting & #depression on NYT's "Motherlode": http://bit.ly/4uRXRWwebfalsefalse15180134angela_januzziangela_januzzinew york, new yorkbook publicist at Penguin Group, USA. trying to be the social media-savvy 20-something she's expected to be.http://a1.twimg.com/profile_images/74570180/revised_pin_up_library_normal.JPGfalse681A1B1F6666662FC2EF252429181A1E64Fri Jun 20 14:19:22 +0000 20081-18000Eastern Time (US & Canada)http://s.twimg.com/a/1261519751/images/themes/theme9/bg.giffalsefalsefalse64Thu Nov 05 15:59:39 +0000 20095452615442In this economy, I like to take bags of nickels to the strip club and make it hail.<a href="http://twitterrific.com" rel="nofollow">Twitterrific</a>falsefalse28648945Travis Wayne GacyDeathBlossomOn top of your momThe power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. George Bernard Shawhttp://a1.twimg.com/profile_images/496202912/VENN_normal.pnghttp://favstar.fm/users/DeathBlossomfalse521bdcbcb0505050084B4DDFFCCBDDCAD234Fri Apr 03 20:46:28 +0000 20095214-21600Central Time (US & Canada)http://a1.twimg.com/profile_background_images/8882766/monkey_shocked2.jpgtruefalsefalse423Wed Nov 04 05:42:20 +0000 20095413543029My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says "Majority rules, fagballs."webfalsefalse7120172dave holmesDaveHolmesLos Angeles, CAhttp://myyearofeverything.tumblr.comhttp://a1.twimg.com/profile_images/522759166/delves_normal.jpghttp://www.daveholmes.tvfalse42949ae4e80000000000ffe0ff9287bc44315Wed Jun 27 22:49:48 +0000 20077-25200Arizonahttp://a1.twimg.com/profile_background_images/53322410/tumblr_ksq819pBYi1qzw3gpo1_500.jpgtruefalsefalse2638Tue Nov 03 21:24:13 +0000 20095402054141I just peed my pants and it looks like I spilled water on myself. How embarassing!<a href="/devices" rel="nofollow">txt</a>falsefalse16317798myrmyraclesjumping in the airwannabe nerd | pretty princess | internet addict http://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/73518595/IMG_0576_comp_normal.jpgfalse1763EBEBEB333333990000F3F3F3DFDFDF227Tue Sep 16 21:21:31 +0000 20089901-18000Eastern Time (US & Canada)http://a1.twimg.com/profile_background_images/4559722/img28.jpgfalsefalsefalse890Mon Nov 02 15:54:56 +0000 20095365905609Do these sweatpants make my boner look phat?<a href="http://twitterrific.com" rel="nofollow">Twitterrific</a>falsefalse28648945Travis Wayne GacyDeathBlossomOn top of your momThe power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. George Bernard Shawhttp://a1.twimg.com/profile_images/496202912/VENN_normal.pnghttp://favstar.fm/users/DeathBlossomfalse519bdcbcb0505050084B4DDFFCCBDDCAD234Fri Apr 03 20:46:28 +0000 20095214-21600Central Time (US & Canada)http://a1.twimg.com/profile_background_images/8882766/monkey_shocked2.jpgtruefalsefalse423Mon Nov 02 15:35:09 +0000 20095365457191Dude on the bus is reading @dadgonemad's book.<a href="/devices" rel="nofollow">txt</a>falsefalse7393052Miss Gracegrace134Santa Cruz, California20-something single working mom of Gabriel, blogger, et cetera.http://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/578383493/4191764958_3a084e97ee_b_normal.jpghttp://www.missdisgrace.comfalse840C6E2EE663B121F98C7DAECF4C6E2EE655Wed Jul 11 04:53:49 +0000 20071-28800Pacific Time (US & Canada)http://a1.twimg.com/profile_background_images/50730664/missgrace.jpgfalsefalsefalse19307Mon Oct 26 23:16:26 +0000 20095185990487I've had nothing to eat all day. Except for 2 pairs of EDIBLE PANTIES. Because that's the way I live my life.webfalsefalse6480732Rob HuebelrobhuebelLos AngelesI give medicinal cocaine to baby animalshttp://a1.twimg.com/profile_images/26155402/mtv_hg_rob_48x48_normal.jpghttp://www.robhuebel.comfalse374823527263E4415D02B5599CC33829D5E61Thu May 31 19:08:21 +0000 200718-28800Pacific Time (US & Canada)http://a1.twimg.com/profile_background_images/56844586/IMG_1322resm.jpgtruefalsefalsefalsefalse1242Wed Oct 07 19:23:12 +0000 20094689757027This CVS store smells like sex. Believe me. I know that smell. Oh hold up. Nevermind. I think it's candy corn.webfalsefalse6480732Rob HuebelrobhuebelLos AngelesI give medicinal cocaine to baby animalshttp://a1.twimg.com/profile_images/26155402/mtv_hg_rob_48x48_normal.jpghttp://www.robhuebel.comfalse374873527263E4415D02B5599CC33829D5E61Thu May 31 19:08:21 +0000 200718-28800Pacific Time (US & Canada)http://a1.twimg.com/profile_background_images/56844586/IMG_1322resm.jpgtruefalsefalse1242Mon Oct 05 20:50:42 +0000 20094637318120The trouble with a Meat Lovers pizza is that I don't know whether to eat it or fuck it. #eatitdumbass<a href="http://m.twitter.com/" rel="nofollow">mobile web</a>falsefalse18548221Doug BensonDougBensonLos AngelesMy new CD, DOUG BENSON: UNBALANCED LOAD, and my podcast, I LOVE MOVIES, are on iTunes now. Where they belong.http://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/292204451/unbal_load_twitter_size_normal.jpghttp://www.myspace.com/doug_benson false485949AE4E83333330084B4DDFFCCBDDCAD284Fri Jan 02 07:39:59 +0000 200942-28800Pacific Time (US & Canada)http://s.twimg.com/a/1261078355/images/themes/theme1/bg.pngfalsefalsefalsefalsefalse3807Mon Oct 05 14:55:27 +0000 20094629495294I love how mad Elmo gets at Zoe for having a pet rock. He's totally right. Zoe's a goddam dingbat.<a href="http://www.atebits.com/" rel="nofollow">Tweetie</a>falsefalse14630319Shane NickersonshanenickersonHollywood, CaliforniaExecutive Producer of Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory on MTVhttp://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/502647613/me3_normal.jpghttp://www.shanenickerson.com/nickerblog/2009/06/f-twitter.htmlfalse4574131516333333009999efefefeeeeee260Fri May 02 20:00:23 +0000 200814-28800Pacific Time (US & Canada)http://a1.twimg.com/profile_background_images/42659452/twitter.jpgfalsefalsefalsefalsefalse3786Sun Oct 04 22:22:05 +0000 20094613115497What is this "vagina" thing everyone keeps talking about? Is it like Google Wave? Can I get an invite?<a href="http://echofon.com/" rel="nofollow">Echofon</a>falsefalse45764888Malus Manus DrBadhandsNew JerseyOne man, two hands.http://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/524351297/IMG_0964_normal.JPGfalse5991A1B1F6666662FC2EF252429181A1E166Tue Jun 09 04:34:34 +0000 200913636-18000Quitohttp://s.twimg.com/a/1261519751/images/themes/theme9/bg.giffalsefalsefalse1118Wed Sep 30 21:01:09 +0000 20094507022605Doctor: "While you're on this medication, you'll need to use an alternate form of birth control."
Me: "Other than my personality?"<a href="http://twitterrific.com" rel="nofollow">Twitterrific</a>falsefalse12860612Jelisa CastrodalegordonshumwayUnder your bed.I've learned a lot about life by making a mess of my own.http://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/74369259/cropped_normal.jpghttp://www.thetypingmakesmesoundbusy.comfalse9096FFFFFF0000000F61D7FFFFFF000000225Wed Jan 30 04:06:17 +0000 200835-18000Eastern Time (US & Canada)http://a1.twimg.com/profile_background_images/7481316/top-ramen.jpgtruefalsefalsefalsefalse2853Wed Sep 30 16:30:06 +0000 20094500987861Yeah, I should probably rethink my latest pickup line, "So, hey, the doctor says I have the worst ear infection he's ever seen..."webfalsefalse12860612Jelisa CastrodalegordonshumwayUnder your bed.I've learned a lot about life by making a mess of my own.http://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/74369259/cropped_normal.jpghttp://www.thetypingmakesmesoundbusy.comfalse9097FFFFFF0000000F61D7FFFFFF000000225Wed Jan 30 04:06:17 +0000 200835-18000Eastern Time (US & Canada)http://a1.twimg.com/profile_background_images/7481316/top-ramen.jpgtruefalsefalsefalsefalse2853Wed Sep 30 11:47:22 +0000 20094495193525After eating half a box of cereal for breakfast, my blood type is now BooBerry.
And clinical depression.
But mainly BooBerry.webfalsefalse12860612Jelisa CastrodalegordonshumwayUnder your bed.I've learned a lot about life by making a mess of my own.http://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/74369259/cropped_normal.jpghttp://www.thetypingmakesmesoundbusy.comfalse9096FFFFFF0000000F61D7FFFFFF000000225Wed Jan 30 04:06:17 +0000 20083379-18000Eastern Time (US & Canada)http://a1.twimg.com/profile_background_images/7481316/top-ramen.jpgtruefalsefalse2853