D_Moss
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Not fucking bond,,, You get where I'm going with this,
about 4 hours ago
via web
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You know that bond film where the baddie kind of fucks people to death, then nearly does it to bond in a sauna? That's how I want to go out.
about 4 hours ago
via web
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Just ran a cold glass over my sunburn and nearly came everywhere.
about 5 hours ago
via Twitter for Android
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You know what else Aladdin showed her? His wiener.
about 6 hours ago
via Tweetbot for iOS
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@ lots of wine and tweets about my genitals. You?
about 6 hours ago
via Twitter for Android
in reply to JD_2020
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@ Such a huge departure from the older stuff, but still fantastic!. Much love!
about 7 hours ago
via Twitter for Android
in reply to MillaJovovich
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What is the goddamn holdup, female orgasm? It's been three fucking minutes already.
about 7 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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My favourite wine was on sale in case you see some pictures of my balls later and wonder why.
about 7 hours ago
via Twitter for Android
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Absinthe makes the heart black out and fuck little people.
about 7 hours ago
via Twitter for Android
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It's a shame how much genuine insight sounds like pretentious bullshit when someone has the nerve to express it.
about 8 hours ago
via web
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Double Flare All The Way Across The Sky [Road]
about 9 hours ago
via Instagram
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@ I do try.
about 10 hours ago
via web
in reply to IanLyon_
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@ Hahaha, That is a fucking hellish thought.
about 10 hours ago
via web
in reply to ThomasParlane
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@ I really, really, really want to slap that.
about 11 hours ago
via web
in reply to D_Moss
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No, I'm not happy that I have a twelve year old girl's wallpaper. Yes, I'm too lazy to change it.
about 11 hours ago
via Twitter for Android
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about 11 hours ago
via Instagram
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So I have sunburn down the right side of my face. Add being outside to the long list of things I'm terrible at...
about 13 hours ago
via web
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Searching for my demented grandmother in Clydebank is a lot like looking for a needle in a stack of other needles.
about 15 hours ago
via Twitter for Android
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Anyone else think Adam Baldwin will be the next Mel Gibson / Charlie Sheen style trainwreck? Guy is a fucking crazy person.
4:53 PM May 24th
via Twitter for Android
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Relationship advice: pizza will never break your heart.
4:27 PM May 24th
via Tweetbot for iOS
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