Profile_bird

Hey there! DDDBU is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What's happening? Join today to start receiving DDDBU's tweets.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

DDDBU

  1. I am so constipated that if I saw Vanna White, I'd seriously ask to buy a bowel. 6:45 PM Nov 23rd from web
  2. Tried applying my eyeliner with a paint roller like Adam Lambert & while my eyes are a mess, my bathroom walls are a lovely shade of smokey. 2:51 PM Nov 23rd from web
  3. Seriously. Are Uggs winter's Crocs? 10:33 AM Nov 23rd from web
  4. There's nothing better to get you going on a Monday morning than a huge mug of steaming hot prescription drugs. Ahhhhhh 9:02 AM Nov 23rd from web
  5. The best part of Thanksgiving is the fact that I don't need a prescription for the sedative tryptophan, as it's abundant in turkey. 7:20 AM Nov 23rd from web
  6. @chelsealately Do you know who gets custody of Gayle? 9:21 PM Nov 22nd from web in reply to chelsealately
  7. Math was never my strength, so if Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert were together, could someone tell me how many penises & vaginas there would be? 8:14 PM Nov 22nd from web
  8. Watching the AMAs with one eye closed, in case the person rockin' tonight's wardrobe malfunction is Joe Jackson. 5:19 PM Nov 22nd from web
  9. Please tell that nervous young girl buying a home pregnancy test to get out of the aisle & wait till she gets home to pee on that damn stick 12:03 PM Nov 22nd from web
  10. When seeking advice at a bris, it's probably not a good idea to ask if anyone has any pro tips. 11:24 AM Nov 22nd from mobile web
  11. I'm also sure the bris lunch will have trays of "what am I, chopped liver?" 8:23 AM Nov 22nd from mobile web
  12. Going to a bris today followed by a lunch. I'm sure the menu will include some kind of kosher meat with an au Jew sauce. 8:15 AM Nov 22nd from mobile web
  13. The most important details of a Jewish Thanksgiving are selecting the appropriate whine for dinner, and the ice cream for the pie à la moan. 3:37 PM Nov 21st from web
  14. To avoid being stressed on Thanksgiving, I'm testing out my recipe for my pumpkin and Prozac pie. 3:14 PM Nov 21st from web
  15. You know you're old when the restaurant hostess asks if you're able to make it up the stairs to the 2nd floor. Little whippersnapper bitch. 3:36 PM Nov 20th from web
  16. I am so lazy that I'm out walking errands. 12:20 PM Nov 20th from mobile web
  17. Making my turkey costume for when I go out Thanksgiving caroling. Anyone seen my giblets? 8:43 AM Nov 20th from web
  18. Since people are already trimming their Christmas trees, I guess I'll move up my appointment to wax and trim my Chanukah bush. 2:49 PM Nov 19th from web
  19. Things I dislike about Thanksgiving: My intense fear of giblets. 1:07 PM Nov 19th from web
  20. Things I dislike about Thanksgiving: Sarah Palin being interviewed on a turkey farm, while turkeys are being slaughtered behind her. 11:47 AM Nov 19th from web
  • Name D
  • Location Malibu CA
  • Bio Attempting to keep myself amused, but actively seeking witty ones to pick up the slack.
126 Following 570 Followers 106 Listed
Hugh Jorgasm Mrs. XXXXX Drew Monge DeepPocketsChopra Tymethief Sofia R CousinBrandon jenfunkyjen Tim Haines Ms. Incognito Crystal Small Chick Mrs Josh Homme redtothetone K Brock General Misdemeanor Amy Jordan Peterson MyCorpse zzzzz....Huh What? Beersuds Funny One Liners Ryan Anderson Tyler Mark Lacey Michael Pierce Meeting Boy Mean Ass Pappy Trixie Longboots Crab Jason Sweeney Dolanite Josh Hopkins matt Jason Cute Ass Sock Monkey