Cumdumpster2000
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If I can come to work the night after my bf violated my butthole, you can get off your hospital bed & respond to my fucking email, Betty!
10:05 AM Apr 23rd
via Twitter for iPhone
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If you didn't want to know that I'm walking funny bc my boyfriend has a HUGE penis, then you shouldn't ask, mom!
6:12 AM Apr 21st
via Twitter for iPhone
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My favorite thing about my childhood was probably the not being molested part.
8:54 AM Apr 11th
via web
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The best part of my day is when I slide into bed, spoon my kid, & gently whisper "get the fuck up, asshole".
8:48 AM Apr 10th
via Twitter for iPhone
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A Xanax a day keeps my give a fuck away
6:56 AM Mar 26th
via Twitter for iPhone
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TEQUILAAAA!!
6:25 PM Mar 24th
via Twitter for iPhone
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That's enough, Adele. That is enough.
11:55 AM Mar 23rd
via Twitter for iPhone
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I'm working from home today. I'm not drinking beer, but I could if fucking wanted to.
9:47 AM Mar 20th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Hey fellas, how about some FaceTime with my vagina??
6:20 AM Mar 10th
via Twitter for iPhone
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My son is 4 years old and I'm still thinking about whether or not I want an abortion.
5:29 AM Jan 26th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Don't want to brag, but I can still wear my cheer leading sports bra from 7th grade..
10:13 AM Jan 22nd
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ haha! Fuck you! It's hard being pretty AND funny!
11:28 AM Jan 11th
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to stevewilliams52
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Lunch gave me heartburn. This is why I hate eating out (your mom).
11:11 AM Jan 11th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I wonder if Seal hits those sweet high notes while he's fucking Heidi Klum...
1:24 PM Dec 16th, 2011
via web
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Screw Wall Street, Occupy My Vagina!
7:57 AM Oct 12th, 2011
via Mobile Web
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@ I'm here. I'm queer.
2:03 PM Oct 7th, 2011
via web
in reply to DrZibbs
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Damn right! RT @ @ I lost my meatball virginity to @.
1:55 PM Oct 7th, 2011
via web
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@ Just because they were disgusting doesn't mean that it didn't happen! @
1:50 PM Oct 7th, 2011
via web
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LIAR!! RT @ @ I HAVE NEVER HAD A MEATBALL.
1:48 PM Oct 7th, 2011
via web
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Got my first block from @
11:46 AM Sep 19th, 2011
via web
in reply to Lawlessnessess
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- Name Your Mom
- Location on top
- Bio coffee, bacon, butt sex, your mom, poop, gang bang. that's about it.
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