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Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:
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Australia
  • 0198089488 Telstra
Canada
  • 21212 (any)
United Kingdom
  • 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
Indonesia
  • 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel
Ireland
  • 51210 O2
India
  • 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon
Jordan
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New Zealand
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United States
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Cumdumpster2000

  1. If I can come to work the night after my bf violated my butthole, you can get off your hospital bed & respond to my fucking email, Betty!
  2. If you didn't want to know that I'm walking funny bc my boyfriend has a HUGE penis, then you shouldn't ask, mom!
  3. My favorite thing about my childhood was probably the not being molested part.
  4. The best part of my day is when I slide into bed, spoon my kid, & gently whisper "get the fuck up, asshole".
  5. A Xanax a day keeps my give a fuck away
  6. TEQUILAAAA!!
  7. That's enough, Adele. That is enough.
  8. I'm working from home today. I'm not drinking beer, but I could if fucking wanted to.
  9. Hey fellas, how about some FaceTime with my vagina??
  10. My son is 4 years old and I'm still thinking about whether or not I want an abortion.
  11. Don't want to brag, but I can still wear my cheer leading sports bra from 7th grade..
  12. @stevewilliams52 haha! Fuck you! It's hard being pretty AND funny!
  13. Lunch gave me heartburn. This is why I hate eating out (your mom).
  14. I wonder if Seal hits those sweet high notes while he's fucking Heidi Klum...
  15. Screw Wall Street, Occupy My Vagina!
  16. @DrZibbs I'm here. I'm queer.
  17. Damn right! RT @therealvitaminp @verbvixen I lost my meatball virginity to @cumdumpster2000.
  18. @therealvitaminp Just because they were disgusting doesn't mean that it didn't happen! @verbvixen
  19. LIAR!! RT @therealvitaminp @verbvixen I HAVE NEVER HAD A MEATBALL.
  20. Got my first block from @Lawlessnessess #ff