CranberryPerson
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My new building is going to be a block away but I am getting really nervous that its Starbucks won't be as good as the Starbucks here.
about 5 hours ago
from web
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We had a half hour home alone before parent-teacher conferences started WINK WINK just enough time to finish watching House on DVR.
about 7 hours ago
from web
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Oh dammit I just remembered I only have two more days to exact my terrible revenge on everyone here who didn't hold the elevator for me.
about 9 hours ago
from web
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@ Whoa, maybe that is why Agassi chose a wig that looked so much like Tina Turner's hair.
5:57 AM Nov 11th
from web
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Hey look what my pal @ is doing!
5:36 AM Nov 11th
from web
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"I didn't fight in Viet Nam so you could spend all day talking on the phone. Get back to work." (shitmydadsayswhenicallhimonveteransday.)
5:16 AM Nov 11th
from web
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Oh baby you are HOT and I have what your body needs WINK WINK. Here. It's TheraFlu. It will reduce your fever and ease your body aches.
4:31 PM Nov 10th
from UberTwitter
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I don't have any specialized education or training in awkward hugging, but man oh man do I have a lot of field experience.
12:08 PM Nov 10th
from web
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FOUND: While cleaning office: one pack, Camel Lights, unopened. I have not smoked since approximately 2004. Free to a good home.
10:39 AM Nov 10th
from web
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I immediately called my mom upon receiving her e-mail, but got a busy signal, meaning, my God, she uses the PHONE LINE for the INTERNET.
8:16 AM Nov 10th
from web
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@ The day is still young.
6:25 AM Nov 10th
from web
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You can tell it's my last week before switching jobs because I don't even care who here knows I use Axe "Shaggy Look" hair cream.
6:05 AM Nov 10th
from web
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@ Hope it all goes well- much love to you folks.
5:05 AM Nov 10th
from web
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If Dockers and a golf shirt are wrong, then I don't want to be right. Or fashionable. Or remotely attractive to the opposite sex.
3:40 AM Nov 10th
from UberTwitter
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There is a kid on the bus who is a chef-in-training with an iphone and sideburns. Everything about him is cooler than me.
12:50 PM Nov 9th
from UberTwitter
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Poor Pete Sampras always had the game, but was one wig away from the rockstar popularity that long eluded him.
5:41 AM Nov 9th
from web
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@ Yes but I want assurances that you will abide by the manufacturer's gas-to-oil ratio recommendations. Not kidding.
7:09 AM Nov 8th
from web
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Kids want to watch "Hotel for Dogs" but I just wish I knew what it was about.
4:48 AM Nov 8th
from UberTwitter
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@ Yes, up yours Al Gore and big shot "Doctors" with their "book learning."
5:12 PM Nov 7th
from web
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I had my flu shot weeks ago, and now I feel the flu coming on. I think this pretty conclusively proves that science is bullshit.
5:10 PM Nov 7th
from web
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