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CranberryPerson

  1. Every Friday after Thanksgiving, my Dad, brother and I play basketball, but we never do anything I am good at, like musical theatre. about 18 hours ago from UberTwitter
  2. @nevenmrgan yeah well my blackberry has a camera and mp3 player so that's cool right? about 19 hours ago from UberTwitter in reply to nevenmrgan
  3. @jimray shut up about 21 hours ago from UberTwitter in reply to jimray
  4. If your jack-o-lantern gets smashed on 11/25, it's either punk kids, or your Homeowners' Assn. sending a message about timely decorations. 3:33 AM Nov 25th from web
  5. @thesearedays NO but they did send another bus so I am sober but at least we're moving! 4:17 PM Nov 24th from UberTwitter in reply to thesearedays
  6. @Saving_Jane hmmm what about leftover kitkats from Halloween and Youngstown? 3:52 PM Nov 24th from UberTwitter in reply to Saving_Jane
  7. My bus is broken down on the highway. If any Pittsburgher can pick me up, you can come to taco night. 3:42 PM Nov 24th from UberTwitter
  8. To all my critics: I'll agree to spell it "global" if he'll agree to spell it "Al Goar." 3:32 PM Nov 24th from UberTwitter
  9. I find it deliciously ironic that you can't spell "globel warming" without "Al Gore." 11:06 AM Nov 24th from UberTwitter
  10. 30 minutes until they take my picture for the work website. Just enough time to straighten my tie, comb my hair, and lose 35 pounds. 7:03 AM Nov 24th from UberTwitter
  11. I wear white when I run before the sun's up, so I look like a big, glowing blob of raw bread dough. So, not unlike if I was running nude. 3:03 AM Nov 24th from web
  12. ROMANCE TIP: This is the wrong weekend to tell your wife you can love her like a passionate teenage werewolf if you can't back it up. 7:56 AM Nov 22nd from web
  13. Hey baby we are both up early and the kids are away WINK WINK we can make it to the outlet mall just as it is opening! 5:23 AM Nov 22nd from UberTwitter
  14. woo hooo happy birthday @jephkelley! 4:23 PM Nov 21st from web
  15. RIPOFF ALERT: K-Mart charges the same amount for a frame whether you want the picture of Jaclyn Smith or not. 7:04 AM Nov 21st from UberTwitter
  16. There is this anti-bullying movement at my kid's school which is great but seems kind of discriminatory against born assholes. 6:01 PM Nov 20th from web
  17. Son, I considered being on time for your first grade Thanksgiving play, but then what would you have written sad poems about in 10 years? 2:15 PM Nov 20th from UberTwitter
  18. My parents were at the house so I couldn't go running, but my dad would still think I am fat anyway so who even cares. 5:32 AM Nov 20th from UberTwitter
  19. Heard someone say an iphone is twice as cool as a Blackberry, so that's why I carry two. 12:53 PM Nov 19th from UberTwitter
  20. Sometimes in the windows here I'll catch a reflection of my profile without sucking in my gut and isn't there something in OSHA about that? 8:33 AM Nov 19th from UberTwitter