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CranberryPerson

  1. Every Friday after Thanksgiving, my Dad, brother and I play basketball, but we never do anything I am good at, like musical theatre.
  2. @nevenmrgan yeah well my blackberry has a camera and mp3 player so that's cool right?
  3. @jimray shut up
  4. If your jack-o-lantern gets smashed on 11/25, it's either punk kids, or your Homeowners' Assn. sending a message about timely decorations.
  5. @thesearedays NO but they did send another bus so I am sober but at least we're moving!
  6. @Saving_Jane hmmm what about leftover kitkats from Halloween and Youngstown?
  7. My bus is broken down on the highway. If any Pittsburgher can pick me up, you can come to taco night.
  8. To all my critics: I'll agree to spell it "global" if he'll agree to spell it "Al Goar."
  9. I find it deliciously ironic that you can't spell "globel warming" without "Al Gore."
  10. 30 minutes until they take my picture for the work website. Just enough time to straighten my tie, comb my hair, and lose 35 pounds.
  11. I wear white when I run before the sun's up, so I look like a big, glowing blob of raw bread dough. So, not unlike if I was running nude.
  12. ROMANCE TIP: This is the wrong weekend to tell your wife you can love her like a passionate teenage werewolf if you can't back it up.
  13. Hey baby we are both up early and the kids are away WINK WINK we can make it to the outlet mall just as it is opening!
  14. woo hooo happy birthday @jephkelley!
  15. RIPOFF ALERT: K-Mart charges the same amount for a frame whether you want the picture of Jaclyn Smith or not.
  16. There is this anti-bullying movement at my kid's school which is great but seems kind of discriminatory against born assholes.
  17. Son, I considered being on time for your first grade Thanksgiving play, but then what would you have written sad poems about in 10 years?
  18. My parents were at the house so I couldn't go running, but my dad would still think I am fat anyway so who even cares.
  19. Heard someone say an iphone is twice as cool as a Blackberry, so that's why I carry two.
  20. Sometimes in the windows here I'll catch a reflection of my profile without sucking in my gut and isn't there something in OSHA about that?