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Corman

  1. Mike on seeing a sign for sausage biscuits and donuts. "Sausage donuts?What the fuck is that? New slang for a pussy?"
  2. Mike on MMA (cont.) " ... Ben, they're punching each other in the dick. I don't care what you say, that's not a sport."
  3. @MissiLuLu nervous? That would be awesome. So much better than hooking jumper cables up to my nipples.
  4. @MissiLuLu deal.
  5. @tobesforsho how else am I going to get such a good discount on my icee? Sometimes you have to flirt a little.
  6. @MissiLuLu that or the $1100 worth of Mexican Viagra I've been eating to stay awake. I just hope these chest pains don't get worse.
  7. @MissiLuLu I had a lot of change so I went for an assortment. Then I spent like two hours gagging from the smell.
  8. @tobesforsho I had a lot of change so I went for an assortment. Then I spent like two hours gagging from the smell.
  9. Mike on MMA "I can't watch it. It's just a bunch of guys lying on top of each other and punching each other in the dick."
  10. @MissiLuLu deal. I'll be by to pick it up.
  11. Single spray male cologne $.25 in the bathrooms of Louisiana truck stops. The south will rise again. http://yfrog.com/4fuc6tj
  12. We at the hotel, motel ... holiday inn express. Fort Stockton, tx. Hoping to make New Orleans tomorrow. Long day ahead of us.
  13. @NilsAParker from the look of her I'm sure it was rotten Swiss cheese that had been thrown up by road kill. This woman was not a catch.
  14. Thank you for spraying half a bottle of perfume on your legs. Everyone in this subway car appreciates that stinging, choaking gift.
  15. RT @jeffwaldman: I don't think I've said the phrase, "Seriously, where are my pants?" so many times.
  16. @tweetez hey, I'm moving back to Philly. You still have the same phone number? I was going to give you a call.
  17. You have to wonder about time warner's self esteem because my Internet connection goes down like a drunk cougar at last call.
  18. Dude, the 8:30 to Union Station is *not* the venue to massage oil into your feet. Ugh he's all up in between his toes. Imma be sick.
  19. lf you've just spent "two weeks in county for some bullshit" don't make that the lead in introducing yourself. It just makes me nervous.
  20. I wrote something. But don't worry, this isn't one of those "for real" blog posts, it's just a cry for help. http://su.pr/2ntiXb