Now that football’s over, I have my Sundays back. Get ready, Santa Monica Men’s Quilting Workshop!

I lost $500 betting yesterday. Not on the Super Bowl, on “Downton Abbey.”

Make sure to watch for my commercial during the #SuperBowl. You'll only see it if you’re watching a “Sex and the City” re-run on E!.

Turns out “Bingo Bango Bongo!” is not a good thing to yell out during sex.

Had to see a men’s doctor today. Why? Let’s just say "Newt is no longer surging in the polls."

I like the name "Groundhog Day" much better than the original "Pull Out The Dirt Rat Time."

Tonight on #Conan, Apple chose my show to introduce their revolutionary new product - bit.ly/zYIyyS

.@MittRomney won the Florida primary. Amazing how much better he runs when he's left in the charger for the full 8 hours.

Tonight's #CONAN incorporates two movies that make me sob uncontrollably: "The Lion King" and "The Wicker Man."

Always happy to see my signed headshot up at a local business. Thanks, Burbank 24-Hour Pawn 'N Firearm.

Being a celebrity means I can get any restaurant reservation when George Clooney cancels at the last minute.

Just got some weird looks at the health club when I unrolled my Ke$ha yoga mat.

Project Runway star Tim Gunn said that he hasn’t had sex in 29 years. I had no idea he was married.

Patriots by 7. This is my pick for the Superbowl. And for any future U.S. revolutionary wars.

Time for a little spring cleaning. Does Seal Team 6 do gutters?

According to a new study, talking after having sex is just as important as sex. I’m just glad listening isn’t important.

There’s a "Great Gatsby" film coming out in 3-D. They say it’s like Fitzgerald’s depiction of a generation's angst is coming right at you.

My adoring fans. bit.ly/AzGLag

If you love the gutsy Tom Brady & the high drama of today's AFC matchup, you'll love the DVD rerelease of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

South Carolina voters just found out Newt has been seeing North Carolina voters on the side.