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Chuck__Norris

  1. In an effort to go green and make some money, I've started filling up old Javex bottles with my spit. It works equally well on carpet stains 6:53 PM Oct 13th from web
  2. Woke up. Watched part of Die Hard 2, then realized that it was a documentary about my life. It's good to be me. 7:24 AM Oct 12th from web
  3. Rest. The wormhole was 99 times worse than security at Ottawa airport. I couldn't leave my weapons behind. I'd have to sell all my slacks! 9:46 PM Oct 11th from web
  4. But I found my way back by eating dark matter and crapping bits of inter-dimensional portal particles. It's good to be home. 9:20 PM Oct 11th from web
  5. I accidentally round-house kicked myself into another dimension about a year ago. 9:18 PM Oct 11th from web
  6. 124 followers... I better stretch out my legs. Lotta Roundhouses coming up... 1:03 PM Sep 9th, 2008 from web
  7. If you press L1, R1, L2, L2, R3 then X, I become a playable character in Mercs2. I am the Nuke. 11:41 AM Sep 9th, 2008 from web
  8. I wonder if I'm ever going to have good pound-cake ever again.. Well it's time to teach my under 5 Kids Karate class. Sigh. 11:40 AM Sep 9th, 2008 from web
  9. @darthvader Jeez, did the empire pee in your cornflakes? I know you're the Lord of the Sith and all, but lighten up. 7:49 AM Jul 1st, 2008 from web in reply to darthvader
  10. @darthvader I'm currently powering your Death Star, good sir. May I have cost of living increase? Your accomodations aren't exactly cheap. 9:44 PM Jun 30th, 2008 from web in reply to darthvader
  11. @leolaporte You ever feel like Roundhouse kicking Pirillo in the head when he puts all that crap around his screen. IT'S NOT CNN!! 9:43 PM Jun 30th, 2008 from web in reply to leolaporte
  12. I know I'm a Texas Ranger, but Canada Day has me excited. I've got 96 Molson Canadians, a Racoon Hat, and a pair of hockey skates. I'm ready 9:15 PM Jun 30th, 2008 from web
  13. So it looks like my followers have topped out at 3. Isn't "Chuck Norris Jokes" one of the more searched about phrases around? 9:14 PM Jun 30th, 2008 from web
  14. I know where Carmen Sandiego is. 9:12 PM Jun 30th, 2008 from web
  15. Anyone out there have the number for my african-american co-star? I miss him like my wife misses anger management... "HEY SHUT UP IN THERE!" 10:57 AM Jun 29th, 2008 from web
  16. If I can get 2 followers every 20 minutes like I just did, after 4 days, I'd have like a million! 10:54 AM Jun 29th, 2008 from web
  17. Though for the day: Do unto others as you would expect them to do unto you. Then explain they better not do unto anything, for their sake. 10:53 AM Jun 29th, 2008 from web
  18. I'm immortal. That really impresses the ladies. 10:52 AM Jun 29th, 2008 from web
  19. After so many years of being a Texas Ranger, you'd think I would have picked up the Texan accent... 10:51 AM Jun 29th, 2008 from web
  20. I just pooped a bowling ball. I know what you're thinking, and yes, I am that good. 10:47 AM Jun 29th, 2008 from web