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BorowitzReportI hope pet owners don't take this the wrong way, but no one ever wants to hear about your fucking pets ever ever.5:53 PM May 21stvia webRetweeted by Chris_Heinze and 126 others
historyweirdc.100AD: Dio writes the philosopher Diogenes once attended a wrestling match, but became so bored he opened his robe and began masturbating.4:36 PM May 20thvia Mobile WebRetweeted by Chris_Heinze and 76 others
DeathStarPRCongrats Mark Zuckerberg! Rumour is he hardly had to throw ANY of the bride's family into his laser shark tank before she agreed!8:25 PM May 19thvia webRetweeted by Chris_Heinze and 97 others
Slash"u cheap bastard, those guys are retards! They brought their fuckin' toys with them"! iiii]; )'7:47 PM May 19thvia WhoSayRetweeted by Chris_Heinze and 182 others