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ChoklityTART

Public Service Announcement for Guys: If you stand up straight and don't slouch it makes your wang look bigger.about 21 hours ago from txt
Bitch next to me at the nail salon: Thank you for your pointless conversation at a volume I use when I talk to my grandmother.4:05 PM Jul 14th from txt
Just saw a puppy that might have had a little bit of human in him.5:34 AM Jul 14th from txt
@JTreds Let me just tell you that it certainly didn't make mine. I almost made the mistake of looking him in the eye when I walked by...9:00 PM Jul 12th from web in reply to JTreds
Wow, old man. Nice of you to fart as I walked by in Walgreens today.12:37 PM Jul 12th from txt
Irony at its best: bum digging thru a trash can with his radio blaring 'Don't Stand So Close To Me'...12:08 PM Jul 12th from txt
Did anyone else know that there exists a contraption that's sole purpose is to warm baby wipes?4:12 PM Jul 10th from web
@djbyrne At first I was going to respond "what size where?", but then I remembered my last twit/twat/tweet. 7.54:05 PM Jul 10th from web in reply to djbyrne
@collarstays We know music videos being aired on tv died a sad death, but I miss Pop-Up Video more too - I have one episode DVRd...4:02 PM Jul 10th from web in reply to collarstays
My biggest problem right now: can't find the right pair of shoes for a wedding. I don't think even Nancy Grace could solve this quandary.8:25 PM Jul 9th from web
http://www.dontevenreply.com/4:19 PM Jul 9th from web
I'm finding it ironic that on this day celebrating our independence from the Kingdom of Britain I have rediscovered my love for BBC...2:03 PM Jul 4th from web
Who knew that "cream" gets censored on cable tv?12:41 AM Jul 4th from web
@ParticiPeyt Yea, I don't know if I love it for the $ value, but it still seems like a kewl concept.5:52 PM Jul 3rd from web in reply to ParticiPeyt
This is NEATO: http://www.yourenew.com/3:03 PM Jul 3rd from web
kiss kiss bang bang6:25 PM Jul 2nd from web
@clifmo The two are NOT the same. I hate reality tv.6:23 PM Jul 2nd from web in reply to clifmo
For all of you who aren't blind and wear sunglasses at night: go fuck yourself.8:39 PM Jul 1st from web
@clifmo What principle is that? You don't like laughing until you pee your pants?8:38 PM Jul 1st from web in reply to clifmo
You people out there who want to have sex in funeral homes make me sick.8:25 PM Jun 30th from web