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ChaseMit

  1. The back of my closet looks like I spent the '90s preparing for a worldwide shortage of cargo pants. 24 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone
  2. When Don made his big speech at the end of last week's Mad Men, I would have been the guy going "We have to work weekends? No. Fuck this." about 19 hours ago via web
  3. In my imagination, the Blind Melon Bee Girl is now a successful CEO. Still wears the bee suit every day. People are afraid to say anything. about 23 hours ago via web
  4. It's not a party until someone changes the TV to the '90s Pop Hits station and turns it down to a reasonable volume. about 23 hours ago via web
  5. New piece from me on @HappyPlace: Honest Memorial Day beach bar flyer. funni.ly/K5tLZu about 23 hours ago via web
  6. Jenna Jameson was arrested for DUI. She blew a point-oh-god-yes-just-like-that. about 24 hours ago via web
  7. My girlfriend's parents are in town this weekend. Finally going to ask her father's permission to marry his daughter's younger sister. 8:59 AM May 25th via web
  8. Applebee's serves all its food on skillets so the noise distracts you from the sound of your tastebuds screaming Fuck You. 8:15 AM May 25th via web
  9. If I plan this out just right I think I can get through this entire weekend without putting on pants. 7:43 AM May 25th via web
  10. The Dark Knight Rises looks OK but I'm not sure I can go back to movies with only one superhero in them. 7:56 PM May 24th via web
  11. I've got five unwatched episodes of Awake on my DVR. I'm the reason shows get canceled. 7:34 PM May 24th via web
  12. Half of Batman's utility belt is just different flavors of gum. 5:41 PM May 24th via web
  13. Which Smashmouth song speaks to you the most? 2:55 PM May 24th via web
  14. If you put a gun to my head and asked me to tell you the difference between Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez, I'd just help you pull the trigger 2:42 PM May 24th via web
  15. We're probably just a few years away from a James Bond movie where the villain's evil plan is to cyberbully the world. 12:29 PM May 24th via Twitter for iPhone
  16. I always feel a little let down when I realize a sign says Pilates and not Pirates. 10:29 AM May 24th via web
  17. I Am Legend is a much more realistic movie if you imagine everyone left New York City to avoid Will Smith. 10:13 AM May 24th via web
  18. "This long-suffering husband has had about enough of his wife's bullshit." - Alex Trebek asking for a divorce 10:04 AM May 24th via web
  19. Sometimes when I leave the house I tell my girlfriend I'm never coming back just to get her hopes up. 9:38 AM May 24th via web
  20. Which brand of cat food is best at hiding the taste of poison? 9:27 AM May 24th via web
  • Name Chase Mitchell
  • Location Atlanta, Ga.
  • Web http://www.witstr...
  • Bio Writer for Someecards and HappyPlace.com, contributing writer for CollegeHumor and Jockular, freelance sandwich artist.
715 Following 5,312 Followers 190 Listed
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