CeciliaMaria85
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Why does everyone insist on wishing me a happy birthday, do they not understand it means I'm one year closer to death? Great friends...
9:49 AM May 20th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Yeah I'll be impressed when you fucking choke yourself to death.
8:08 AM May 16th
via Tweetbot for iOS
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Just found out that umbrellas open up. I always wondered why my rain stick never kept me dry. We never stop learning do we.
10:13 PM May 14th
via Plume for Android
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If women ran the world there would still be wars, you would just never know WHY you were at war.
2:44 PM Mar 9th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Slow and steady wins the race, but hard and fast up against the wall can be fun too.
6:40 PM May 15th
via web
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Happy mothers day to every mom who's thought about running away a thousand times & instead made dinner for her kids & cried in a bathroom
9:06 PM May 12th
via twicca
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Just spent 20 dollars on 12 items in a so called dollar store.
Your move mathematicians.
3:01 PM May 12th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I can't believe I almost have a thousand followers and I still don't have a twitter crush! Am I broken?
3:04 PM May 11th
via Favstar.FM
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Don't tell me you're speaking from your heart, you and I both know you have no fucking heart.
3:09 PM May 11th
via Tweetbot for iOS
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Ladies, save your money... The best lingerie is stark fucking nakedness.
2:59 PM May 11th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I long for the good old days when we fucked up friendships/relationships the hard way.
In person, or delivered via folded up note.
3:02 PM May 11th
via web
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@ no problem at all ;-)
10:17 AM May 11th
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to pkimac
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Some of you are attractive like whoa!
And by "whoa" I mean, whoa you're not attractive.
9:05 AM May 11th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I am going full on Betty Fucking Crocker today! Well after I finish waking up... And my hangover goes away... Well maybe tomorrow or not.
10:03 AM May 11th
via Twitter for iPhone
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My safe word is "Dont you EVER stop, I don't care what I say. This is not my safe word, DO IT HARDER MOTHERFUCKER!" .. it's complicated.
6:19 AM Dec 23rd, 2011
via Twitter for Android
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It's only excusable referring to the bathroom as the Little Girls' Room, if you plan on dying immediately.
9:46 AM May 11th
via Twitter for iPhone
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William, Shatner's script writers aren't, very good, at. Punctuation.
No, one is going, to get. This.
8:41 PM Nov 20th, 2011
via TweetDeck
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Just got a text from a girl, she said she wanted to lick my cock, but there's no way I'm lettin' that crazy broad around my chickens.
6:27 PM May 10th
via web
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One day I hope to be released from captivity and returned to my natural habitat.
4:04 PM May 8th
via Twitter for iPhone
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My super power is getting lube on EVERYTHING.
9:43 AM May 11th
via Tweetbot for iOS
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- Name Cecilia
- Location Dugway, UT
- Bio Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer. -Anonymous... and I do concur!
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