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CcSteff

  1. Embarrassing that my niece is watching tapes of my old dance recitals. Adorable that she can pick me out of a lineup of awkward 8-yr-olds. about 7 hours ago from web
  2. Jim says I don't appreciate his self-restraint, so he makes it a point to tell me when he doesn't buy things. Computers, cameras, pepperoni. about 20 hours ago from web
  3. My hair: destroyer of drains, vacuums, relationships. 7:21 AM Nov 22nd from web
  4. In defense of Southern diners, they could chicken-fry dog shit and it would probably be awesome. 12:51 PM Nov 21st from web
  5. I ordered a reuben at this Southern diner. Waitress looked confused and brought me a chicken-fried steak. 9:40 AM Nov 21st from Tweetie
  6. Sorry, Jim, but you can't call it "walking" when you're wearing nothing but socks. What you're doing is prancing. And nauseating. 7:06 AM Nov 21st from web
  7. Oh, just sitting in my cubicle, calculating my overtime pay, crying into my coffee. Like I do on a Friday night. 6:06 PM Nov 20th from Tweetie
  8. Don't give me that look. That wedgie wasn't going to pick itself. 7:43 AM Nov 20th from Tweetie
  9. "Traditional" is code for "what I mistakenly think my childhood was like." 8:26 AM Nov 19th from Tweetie
  10. I AM @MEETINGGUY. 1:17 PM Nov 18th from Tweetie
  11. Not an official project, but I've been finding all the low-hanging pipes in the plant. So I'll need to replace this hairnet with a helmet. 9:09 AM Nov 18th from Tweetie
  12. The thing about traditional families is that they don't exist and never did. 4:46 PM Nov 17th from web
  13. I'm making a list entitled People Who Don't Get Jokes. You'll be on there, but you won't know why. 11:18 AM Nov 17th from Tweetie
  14. It's ridiculous that my project's been delayed because of a stupid typo. You guys would buy Rotibussin, right? 4:42 AM Nov 16th from Tweetie
  15. Oh come on, guys. Everyone knows the Constitution is only relevant when it comes to owning guns and not wanting to help poor people. 2:18 PM Nov 14th from web
  16. Avoiding my boss by hiding in the bathroom was a great idea until I accidentally went into the men's room. Again. 11:55 AM Nov 13th from Tweetie
  17. I can tell I've finally gained my coworkers' acceptance because I'm now included on the distribution list for email forwards c. 1997. 8:41 AM Nov 13th from Tweetie
  18. The louder you talk about your deeply personal problems, the less sincere I think you are. 5:22 AM Nov 13th from Tweetie
  19. Your new street-smart straight-shooter persona is okay, but it's a little too similar to your last one: dickbag lacking self-awareness. 9:09 AM Nov 12th from Tweetie
  20. Singing along to James Brown again. I've been informed by several confused coworkers that nobody named Maceo works here. 11:29 AM Nov 11th from Tweetie