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CalMcDonald
@kyle_ward I'm gonna track you and Niles down and have a chat. And by chat I mean beat your asses.2:29 PM Aug 14thfrom web
Woke up this morning with my head in a toilet bowl. Mo's been knocking at my door for hours... something about a suicidal garden gnome.12:14 PM Jul 30thfrom web
What the fuck is comicon? And why is every ghoul in LA headed to it right now? I'd rather get raped in the ass by a pack of wild yettis.7:34 PM Jul 22ndfrom web
The time I crashed my possessed '73 Nova into a 7-11 was pretty bad. RT: @endlessmeghan: When was the last time you remember being arrested?6:29 PM Jul 8thfrom web
Spent the night in jail. Still not sure what happened.12:14 PM Jul 7thfrom web
I'm not sure what's worse, all the vampires in Los Angeles or all the agents and really, what's the fucking difference?4:01 PM Jul 6thfrom web
Starting my fourth with a fucking bang! Just blew a communist soul sucker's ass to shreds with a no-bullshit bottle rocket. Go America.11:54 AM Jul 4thfrom web
Just lost my ass to a slew of ghouls on casino night. Ugly fuckheads were born wearing poker-faces. Shit... there goes the rent.11:03 PM Jun 15thfrom web
There's a goddam gremlin in my liquor cabinet!! Fucking hell... little shit downed all my blue label.10:06 PM Jun 13thfrom web
A fucking banshee? In Los Angeles?! You gotta be kidding me.1:55 PM Jun 11thfrom web
One helluva tango with a raging blood-sucker last night. Had to stake him with the chop-stick from some leftover take-out. Fuck my life.12:36 PM Jun 10thfrom web
