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CRUMP

  1. "CaN I F YAr SeXe AsS?" —sexual chemistry 9:43 AM May 21st via web
  2. Saw a @streetcrow tweeting on a BlackBerry. Can you believe it? A BlackBerry! 3:41 PM May 20th via Twitter for iPhone
  3. The recurring nightmare where nobody makes room for you in the yoga studio. 12:04 PM May 20th via Twitter for iPhone
  4. SUN IS OUT GUESS I'LL TAKE A NAP 11:21 AM May 20th via Twitter for iPhone
  5. If someone says "I'll try anything once," they've probably been pooped on. 7:28 PM May 17th via Twitter for iPhone
  6. But seriously I probs have tuberculosis. 6:47 PM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone
  7. Old man dying of TB next to me on the plane. RUDE. 6:45 PM May 16th via Twitter for iPhone
  8. Open camera app. Realize front-facing cam is on. Feel sad about face. Remember why front-facing cam is on. Cry. 7:58 PM May 12th via Twitter for iPhone
  9. @T4TStephanie A surgeon, hopefully. 12:02 PM May 11th via web in reply to T4TStephanie
  10. OkCupid msg: "Your face as a whole is pretty. It's also pretty in parts, not that I would separate the parts of your face." #niceknowingyall 11:52 AM May 11th via web
  11. @STARRgazer7 HOLLER!!! 6:41 PM May 10th via Twitter for iPad in reply to STARRgazer7
  12. @Smethanie Just breath, it's OK girl. 9:42 AM May 10th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to Smethanie
  13. @manabrand A few words come to mind. 9:30 AM May 10th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to manabrand
  14. @kramediggles BITCH. 8:32 PM May 9th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to kramediggles
  15. @thesewordsrmine I CALLED IT AT THE MCJ SXSW PARTY. 8:31 PM May 9th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to thesewordsrmine
  16. Wanna ruin a cabbie's day? Ask if he takes credit cards and then throw up on him. 8:03 PM May 9th via Twitter for iPhone
  17. @thesewordsrmine I just said hi to your boyfriend in Los Angeles!!! 7:43 PM May 9th via Twitter for iPhone
  18. Pulled out my phone upon landing to pretend I was receiving so many texts but really just tweeted this. 7:33 PM May 9th via Twitter for iPhone
  19. Great job to whoever named a food "sticky buns"! 10:55 AM May 7th via Twitter for iPhone