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ButtonMonkey

  1. I've held the world in my hands. It was a lot like a sexy pair of hips. about 1 hour ago from web
  2. @smilinstanlee Me too! about 11 hours ago from Twitterrific in reply to smilinstanlee
  3. Apparently hanging out with me is bad for relationships. about 20 hours ago from Twitterrific
  4. I love watching senators who get healthcare from the government argue against giving government healthcare to their constituents. 4:09 AM Nov 23rd from web
  5. @ThatKevinSmith Well you DID say it first... and most often. 4:37 PM Nov 22nd from Twitterrific in reply to ThatKevinSmith
  6. Which is way better than the night before. I was an assassin who hated his job and kept people's essence in a bottle after I did the job. 4:38 AM Nov 22nd from Twitterrific
  7. I dreamt of everyhing I've talked about this week all at once: drinking cognac and watching midget karaoke on a stripper-filled airplane. 4:35 AM Nov 22nd from Twitterrific
  8. @willistg I just got home from a 6 hour drive. I'm staying in tonight. 5:38 PM Nov 21st from Twitterrific in reply to willistg
  9. @willistg Where are you wearing it? 5:15 PM Nov 21st from Twitterrific in reply to willistg
  10. Stopped in Berea, Kentucky long enough to pee and type this message about peeing in Berea, Kentucky. 2:16 PM Nov 21st from Twitterrific
  11. Two hillbillies dressed as Lone Ranger and Tonto on this Admiral Propane commercial scare me as much as the inbred banjo boy in Deliverance 4:33 PM Nov 20th from Twitterrific
  12. Group of teens eating in the hotel restaurant were horrible. I wanted to kill them all with my spoon. 4:29 PM Nov 20th from Twitterrific
  13. Tennessee people talk funny. 4:27 PM Nov 20th from Twitterrific
  14. This room is totally haunted. 3:22 PM Nov 20th from Twitterrific
  15. Was planning on hanging out with with Mr. Willis and company but I think that I'm too old and too tired to go out twice in one week. 5:30 PM Nov 19th from Twitterrific
  16. I am horrible and sometimes I bully you around. (But you know you like it, you dirty, dirty, midgets.) 2:00 PM Nov 19th from Twitterrific
  17. I am great and sometimes I share that with all of you. 1:55 PM Nov 19th from Twitterrific
  18. I promise never to rock the combover. 8:39 AM Nov 19th from Twitterrific
  19. I'm also sick of looking at those shiny vampire kids. 4:25 AM Nov 19th from Twitterrific
  20. I wish Joe Lieberman would retire. I don't like being assaulted by the sight of his face on television. 3:51 AM Nov 19th from Twitterrific