Get short, timely messages from Cody Ziler.

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Canada
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United Kingdom
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Indonesia
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Ireland
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India
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Jordan
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United States
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BuffaloTofu

  1. Justin Timberlake hasn't released an album in six years. I guess he did receive my death threats, after all! about 8 hours ago via web
  2. Just ordered a drink at Starbucks with the word "cookie" in it, so hit me up if you need help making any important life decisions today. about 17 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  3. "I'm more country!" "No, I'm more country!" "I'M MORE COUNTRY THAN ALL Y'ALL!" - If Country music charts could talk about 19 hours ago via web
  4. Whenever someone catches me adjusting myself in public, I always have to fight the urge to yell, "Congratulations! You're today's winner!" 4:55 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone
  5. I got so excited that this salad bar had lima beans that I convinced myself I'm dying alone. 4:21 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone
  6. What's your guys' favorite *NSYNC song about masturbating on a webcam? Mine was always "Digital Get Down." 1:16 PM May 23rd via web
  7. .@rihanna Hey, girl. Just wanted to offer my services as a songwriter. I know 57 words that rhyme with "anal." Get at me. 1:03 PM May 23rd via web
  8. "You got it, dude!" - Michelle Tanner, oncologist 11:35 AM May 23rd via web
  9. Gwyneth Paltrow lowers her underwear, squats down, and steadies the ice cube tray. 10:23 PM May 22nd via Twitter for iPhone
  10. You're only as old as you feel. That means I'm coming up on the big second trimester! 4:23 PM May 22nd via Twitter for iPhone
  11. "Ya know it could be like this, just like this, always," I say to my friends as we drink on the porch, unshaven, in a collective fart cloud. 12:48 PM May 21st via Twitter for iPhone
  12. If tears were lube, see ya. 12:15 PM May 21st via Twitter for iPhone
  13. Pedophiles have a more nuanced understanding of child rearing than Bristol Palin. 8:13 PM May 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  14. .@nytimes why didnt u pick rory gilmore for that internship u guys suck 5:25 PM May 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  15. QUICK: Is it creepy to ask one of your straight friends if you can draw his hands? Asking for myself. 5:23 PM May 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  16. Every professional soccer player is a member of NKOTB. 2:19 PM May 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  17. This championship match between Bayern Munich and Chelsea is a real nail-biter! I think. I don't know. I'm watching Food Network. 1:24 PM May 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  18. With John Travolta or in general? RT @HuffPostComedy: Have you ever had a gay experience? 1:09 PM May 19th via Twitter for iPhone
  19. For those of you counting at home, it takes four beers to get me raise-my-right-arm-and-yell-"for-the-honor-of-Grayskull!" drunk. 7:02 PM May 18th via Twitter for iPhone