Brian_Sandvig
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THAT'S A BIG FIRST BITE!
10:03 PM May 23rd
via UberSocial for BlackBerry
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How do you cook ramen again??
3:19 PM May 19th
via Twitter for Android
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It's a good thing clowns like to carpool because otherwise they'd leave enormous carbon footprints.
3:39 PM May 15th
via web
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So are you just like kinda depressed or "I just made hot dogs in the microwave" depressed?
3:50 PM May 7th
via Tweetbot for iOS
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It's hangover eve
9:29 PM May 13th
via Twitter for Android
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@ spontaneous trip!
1:11 AM May 13th
via Twitter for Android
in reply to ishort24
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@ skeeeeeeeet
1:11 AM May 13th
via Twitter for Android
in reply to landonfun
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Portland: Where good looking lesbians is an actual thing.
12:24 AM May 13th
via Twitter for Android
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"One, two, three, fourteen..." -Bono's Spanish teacher
11:05 PM May 12th
via Twitter for Android
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IPAs are best served in the garbage, where they will be consumed by no sentient beings.
9:53 PM May 12th
via Twitter for Android
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Ugh, I hate it when I go do my morning lakeside stretching and a bald eagle majestically lands on my shoulder.
10:24 AM May 12th
via TweetCaster for Android
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Dear anyone who makes air travel an annoyance for other people, may you be stuck between two fats guys and in front of a screaming toddler.
4:07 PM May 11th
via Twitter for Android
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Branding is important. Nike has the swoosh. Mcdonalds has the golden arches. @ has the green man bulge.
3:55 PM May 11th
via Twitter for Android
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You will never hear this. "Duuuuuude! Nice treble!"
3:35 PM May 11th
via Twitter for Android
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@ Good luck! You're the man!
3:33 PM May 11th
via Twitter for Android
in reply to ablopezisatweet
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"Get your farts out now, people!" - Me, if I was the guy taking tickets for an airplane.
3:32 PM May 11th
via Twitter for Android
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Someone out there is reading this while pooping. So if you're that person, I hope everything comes out okay.
3:28 PM May 11th
via Twitter for Android
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I want to meet a white person who is raised in China by the Chinese. I know that s/he probably exists, so if anyone has any info
3:22 PM May 11th
via Twitter for Android
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Very disappointed that this guy who looks eerily like Beans from Even Stevens is not him and just another weird looking person.
2:46 PM May 11th
via Twitter for Android
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"Oh, just stick everything up my ass for safe keeping." - Mr. Potato Head.
4:34 PM May 8th
via WhoSay
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- Name Brian Sandvig
- Location Ames, Iowa
- Bio I love Fazolis
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