BrendanJordan
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If I've ever made you uncomfortable in person, I'm sorry, I was only matching your energy. It's an old trick, but with you it turned creepy.
3:10 PM Jan 27th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I know not everybody gets me, but I rest easy knowing that I judge all of those people to be subhuman, & belittle them behind their backs.
2:41 PM Jan 27th
via web
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If I unfollow you, it's not 'cause I don't like you, it's 'cause you weren't following me back & you're not cool enough to get away with it.
2:19 PM Jan 27th
via web
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I might join . For arguments sake, I WON'T TWEET all day on 1/28, unless I think of something really funny. It's an excuse.
1:44 PM Jan 27th
via web
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Writing "recaps" of 22-minute sitcoms on the internet is a viable career right now. The American economy has a strong foundation.
9:03 AM Jan 27th
via Twitter for Mac
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Damn, the old spilt milk line! Works every time! Obama has more in common with my dad than either of them knew.
6:50 PM Jan 24th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I'd leave out the negative aspects of fracking too, if I were giving a big speechy thing.
6:42 PM Jan 24th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Just had a premonition that it will be "Party in the USA" alone that blares during my grisly murder.
11:26 AM Jan 20th
via web
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@ For the attention, right?
11:02 AM Jan 20th
via web
in reply to runarounddennis
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@ Whatever get's you through the night. They look like this:
11:00 AM Jan 20th
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to runarounddennis
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@ What do you want them to look like?
10:57 AM Jan 20th
via web
in reply to runarounddennis
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According to more than one female opinion, my new glasses look "sharp." This kind of attention nearly makes having a lazy eye worthwhile!
10:53 AM Jan 20th
via web
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TONIGHT @ 10PM: My new team, Quasi Satellite, debuts as part of The Circuit at the @ Studio Theater. FREE!
10:47 AM Jan 20th
via web
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I'd like to welcome my newest follower, @, whom I freshly guilted into following me earlier this very day!
10:42 AM Jan 20th
via web
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Really, Netflix? "Popular with members like me?" What's that mean? Explain that little passive aggressive way of judging me! It's bullshit!
5:00 PM Jan 19th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I wonder why Men's Wearhouse even asked Harvey Fierstein to be their spokesman if they were just going to make him "tone it down."
6:05 PM Jan 16th
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ Born in a barrelfull of butcher knives and raised on knuckle sandwiches. What's not to love?
10:07 AM Jan 13th
via web
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New Circuit Teams debut @ Studio tomorrow. My team debuts Jan 20. Now you know. What do you intend to do?
12:44 PM Jan 12th
via web
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I'm beginning to realize what society's angle is in this relationship, & I'm not amused.
5:48 PM Jan 11th
via web
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They might not realize it, but I think I might've really helped @ & @ talk through some of life's serious issues tonight.
9:15 PM Jan 10th
via Twitter for iPhone
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- Name Brendan Jordan
- Location Greenpoint, Brooklyn, NY
- Web http://favstar.fm...
- Bio Born in a barrelfull of butcher knives and raised on knuckle sandwiches.
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