Brain_Wash
-
I'm not saying my ex was frigid but, to put it in movie terms, '2012' was going to be our next scheduled sex night.
about 3 hours ago
from web
-
Off to drop the kid at her mom's; then it's a nice afternoon of Apple Jacks & college football. (What? No, YOU'RE gonna die obese & alone!)
about 5 hours ago
from web
-
In my next life, I want to be Peter Sellers. No, not the Inspector Clouseau guy. I want to be a penis that everybody's buying.
about 5 hours ago
from web
-
In my next life, I want to be Dick Van Dyke. No, not the actor. I want to be a penis with a cool ride for picking up lesbians.
about 6 hours ago
from web
-
The dick who said, "Do what you love, money will follow" is probably cheating on my trophy wife with the hot new secretary I was gonna hire.
about 6 hours ago
from web
-
@ No love for Rerun? I haven't seen a fat brother move that well since Al Roker heard that there was a waffle shortage.
about 7 hours ago
from web
-
@ The only highway I'm building is to Hell! (My friends are gonna be there, too...)
about 7 hours ago
from web
in reply to JabeeD
-
Holy shit! I just noticed the new prompt question. Let the 70's black sitcom jokes commence! Hey, Rerun!
about 7 hours ago
from web
-
Ex and I have finally worked out satisfactory child-sharing plan. Now, we can begin negotiations for custody of my testicles.
about 7 hours ago
from web
-
Thinking of downgrading my phone plan. I have so many rollover minutes built up, I could pave a fucking road.
about 7 hours ago
from web
-
When are you dropping off our child? Shut up, bitch! BUSYTOWN MYSTERIES IS ON.
about 7 hours ago
from web
-
My fucked up iPhone just pocket-called my home number. When I answered the land line, it cut off. Yes, I just hung up on myself.
about 8 hours ago
from web
-
@ Gracias, señor.
about 19 hours ago
from web
in reply to AlcoholicMan
-
Then: dating woman who liked hair pulling & tattooed ass smacked. Now: bathing girl who hates hair washing & magic marker hands scrubbed.
about 19 hours ago
from web
-
I see that Oakland moved that white cop/black victim murder trial to Los Angeles. Cuz, you know, that Rodney King thing worked out so well.
about 20 hours ago
from web
-
In my next life, I want to be Magic Johnson. No, not the basketball player. I want to be a penis that can do card tricks and shit.
about 23 hours ago
from web
-
@ Survey says: BUZZZZ. Don't make me come over there. ;)
about 23 hours ago
from web
in reply to LaceyMark
-
New Followers: I'm not saying star me, but knowing this branch of Twitter, I'm as close to having a black friend as some of you'll ever get.
4:13 PM Nov 20th
from web
-
@ Hahaha, thx! If there are EVER 800 motherfuckers who find my shit funny, two things will happen: 1) Group photo 2) Armageddon.
3:50 PM Nov 20th
from web
in reply to AlcoholicMan
-
So, when I get to 200 followers, it's like a milestone and shit, so one of them has to blow me, right? Anybody but @, okay?
3:31 PM Nov 20th
from web
|
- Name Sociopathetic
- Location Purgatory Preview
- Web http://favstar.fm...
- Bio Liar. Manipulator. Petty demagogue. And damn fine company.
|
