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  1. First Draft of Tiger's Official Statement Leaked: http://tinyurl.com/ybzkhz7 about 4 hours ago from web
  2. POLL: 50% of US Women Disapprove of Tiger; Other 50% Dating Him about 4 hours ago from web
  3. Tiger picks up support from the National Association of Slutty Nightclub Greeters about 4 hours ago from web
  4. The number of Tiger's girlfriends now exceeds the additional troops being sent to Afghanistan. about 5 hours ago from web
  5. Tiger's penis is over capacity. Please try again later. about 5 hours ago from web
  6. Latest Tally Puts Tiger Woods at Eighteen Holes about 6 hours ago from web
  7. Kirk Cameron is born again, Meredith Baxter is a lesbian. Waiting to hear from ALF. about 13 hours ago from web
  8. New Study Warns Against Sexting While Golfing about 14 hours ago from web
  9. My sources tell me that Meredith Baxter wanted to silence the rumors about her and Tiger. about 14 hours ago from web
  10. When the generals said we need more afghans on the ground, I thought they meant those rugs you get at Pier One. about 16 hours ago from web
  11. FULL STORY: Afghanistan Could Distract Media from Tiger, Experts Fear http://tinyurl.com/ye6ur59 about 17 hours ago from web
  12. I'm concerned that Afghanistan will distract the media from getting to the truth about Tiger. 7:21 PM Dec 1st from web
  13. 6th-most searched term on Google for 2009 is "Naruto." Must Google "Naruto" to find out who the fuck that is. 7:03 PM Dec 1st from web
  14. Shocked that the mayor of Baltimore is guilty of embezzlement. Did not know there was anything to embezzle there. 6:59 PM Dec 1st from web
  15. Was going to watch History Channel show about Vietnam, but I'll just watch Obama's speech about Afghanistan. 5:05 PM Dec 1st from web
  16. Newsweek's provocative covers are out of control. Next wk: WHY YOU SHOULD KILL YOUR KIDS 2:27 PM Dec 1st from web
  17. GM CEO Resigns; Company to Receive $4000 under Clunker Program 2:25 PM Dec 1st from web
  18. Fire Hydrants Across US Hold Silent Vigil for Tiger's Victim 9:26 AM Dec 1st from web
  19. 30,000 more Americans to Afghanistan; 30,002 if you count the uninvited party-crashers 7:32 AM Dec 1st from web
  20. Chelsea Clinton's getting married! Great news for the White House party-crashers. 6:24 AM Dec 1st from web
  • Name Andy Borowitz
  • Location New York
  • Web http://www.borowi...
  • Bio Comedian and Writer, New Yorker humorist, Creator of BorowitzReport.com
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