BethFish
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@ He doesn't usually throw my keys away - just my cell phone.
7:25 AM Dec 11th
from web
in reply to earthami
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Dammit! Has anybody seen my car keys?
6:58 AM Dec 11th
from web
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Y'all know my husband - what movie should I take him to see tomorrow night?
6:45 AM Dec 4th
from web
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@ That would be a bit excessive, don't you think?
11:11 AM Nov 26th
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in reply to rzdrms
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I've unloaded my dishwasher four times in the past 24 hours, and I'm not even hosting Thanksgiving.
10:22 AM Nov 26th
from web
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Anybody got a substitution for vanilla extract that will save me from a crazy-making trip to the grocery store?
1:52 PM Nov 25th
from web
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"Mommy? What do they want to do in the road?" "Color, kiddo. Why don't we color in the road." Damn Beatles.
1:14 PM Nov 24th
from web
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@ Lemme see... if you take the 11 AM flight tomorrow you can be at my place by 9 PM. We'll hold dinner for you.
7:16 PM Nov 2nd
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in reply to doobyus
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@ 1) Possibly... maybe a regift. 2) Well I don't think so, obviously, but I'm not unbiased. Wanna come smell my house?
2:16 PM Nov 2nd
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in reply to doobyus
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@ Exactly why I am suspicious. Couple of cookies and the candle.
1:23 PM Nov 2nd
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in reply to chattycricket
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In-laws gave me a scented candle for Halloween. They a) just had it lying around, or b) think my house smells like ass. Discuss.
1:09 PM Nov 2nd
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Pretend you are 19 months old. Now, where would you hide the cap to the "rinse aid" compartment from the dishwasher?
11:14 AM Oct 8th
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New house rule: Anyone who poops in his pants whilst sitting in his highchair must dig the poop out of his own scrotum.
12:21 PM Oct 1st
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New mantra: I am not getting a chest cold, I am not getting a chest cold, I am not getting a chest cold. Denial will take you only so far.
5:08 AM Sep 30th
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@ I stole it. Ransom note forthcoming.
7:48 PM Sep 17th
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in reply to Swistle_Thistle
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Dear Twitter, I need a chocolate cake recipe to make with a four year old. Please send links or your favorite mix. Love, Beth.
5:51 PM Sep 3rd
from web
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How old do the children have to be before I can reasonably expect to have a day with no screaming? How about just a dinner?
5:32 PM Sep 1st
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Kids asleep. Owen, butt in the air, legs crossed at ankles. Mia, hands in the air like she just don't care. Makes me want 8000 more babies.
6:57 PM Aug 30th
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@ Ooooh, sorry, wish I could, but today is "Yell At Your Sick Child For Being Sick And Then Feel Like a Monster" Day for me.
10:16 AM Aug 27th
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in reply to Swistle_Thistle
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Both kids are too sick to go out and too well to act sick. Going to be the longest day ever and it is ten hours until I can drink wine.
7:08 AM Aug 4th
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