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BethFish

  1. @earthami He doesn't usually throw my keys away - just my cell phone. 7:25 AM Dec 11th from web in reply to earthami
  2. Dammit! Has anybody seen my car keys? 6:58 AM Dec 11th from web
  3. Y'all know my husband - what movie should I take him to see tomorrow night? 6:45 AM Dec 4th from web
  4. @rzdrms That would be a bit excessive, don't you think? 11:11 AM Nov 26th from web in reply to rzdrms
  5. I've unloaded my dishwasher four times in the past 24 hours, and I'm not even hosting Thanksgiving. 10:22 AM Nov 26th from web
  6. Anybody got a substitution for vanilla extract that will save me from a crazy-making trip to the grocery store? 1:52 PM Nov 25th from web
  7. "Mommy? What do they want to do in the road?" "Color, kiddo. Why don't we color in the road." Damn Beatles. 1:14 PM Nov 24th from web
  8. @doobyus Lemme see... if you take the 11 AM flight tomorrow you can be at my place by 9 PM. We'll hold dinner for you. 7:16 PM Nov 2nd from web in reply to doobyus
  9. @doobyus 1) Possibly... maybe a regift. 2) Well I don't think so, obviously, but I'm not unbiased. Wanna come smell my house? 2:16 PM Nov 2nd from web in reply to doobyus
  10. @chattycricket Exactly why I am suspicious. Couple of cookies and the candle. 1:23 PM Nov 2nd from web in reply to chattycricket
  11. In-laws gave me a scented candle for Halloween. They a) just had it lying around, or b) think my house smells like ass. Discuss. 1:09 PM Nov 2nd from web
  12. Pretend you are 19 months old. Now, where would you hide the cap to the "rinse aid" compartment from the dishwasher? 11:14 AM Oct 8th from web
  13. New house rule: Anyone who poops in his pants whilst sitting in his highchair must dig the poop out of his own scrotum. 12:21 PM Oct 1st from web
  14. New mantra: I am not getting a chest cold, I am not getting a chest cold, I am not getting a chest cold. Denial will take you only so far. 5:08 AM Sep 30th from web
  15. @Swistle_Thistle I stole it. Ransom note forthcoming. 7:48 PM Sep 17th from web in reply to Swistle_Thistle
  16. Dear Twitter, I need a chocolate cake recipe to make with a four year old. Please send links or your favorite mix. Love, Beth. 5:51 PM Sep 3rd from web
  17. How old do the children have to be before I can reasonably expect to have a day with no screaming? How about just a dinner? 5:32 PM Sep 1st from web
  18. Kids asleep. Owen, butt in the air, legs crossed at ankles. Mia, hands in the air like she just don't care. Makes me want 8000 more babies. 6:57 PM Aug 30th from web
  19. @Swistle_Thistle Ooooh, sorry, wish I could, but today is "Yell At Your Sick Child For Being Sick And Then Feel Like a Monster" Day for me. 10:16 AM Aug 27th from web in reply to Swistle_Thistle
  20. Both kids are too sick to go out and too well to act sick. Going to be the longest day ever and it is ten hours until I can drink wine. 7:08 AM Aug 4th from web