Profile_bird

Hey there! BethFish is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What's happening? Join today to start receiving BethFish's tweets.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

BethFish

  1. @earthami He doesn't usually throw my keys away - just my cell phone.
  2. Dammit! Has anybody seen my car keys?
  3. Y'all know my husband - what movie should I take him to see tomorrow night?
  4. @rzdrms That would be a bit excessive, don't you think?
  5. I've unloaded my dishwasher four times in the past 24 hours, and I'm not even hosting Thanksgiving.
  6. Anybody got a substitution for vanilla extract that will save me from a crazy-making trip to the grocery store?
  7. "Mommy? What do they want to do in the road?" "Color, kiddo. Why don't we color in the road." Damn Beatles.
  8. @doobyus Lemme see... if you take the 11 AM flight tomorrow you can be at my place by 9 PM. We'll hold dinner for you.
  9. @doobyus 1) Possibly... maybe a regift. 2) Well I don't think so, obviously, but I'm not unbiased. Wanna come smell my house?
  10. @chattycricket Exactly why I am suspicious. Couple of cookies and the candle.
  11. In-laws gave me a scented candle for Halloween. They a) just had it lying around, or b) think my house smells like ass. Discuss.
  12. Pretend you are 19 months old. Now, where would you hide the cap to the "rinse aid" compartment from the dishwasher?
  13. New house rule: Anyone who poops in his pants whilst sitting in his highchair must dig the poop out of his own scrotum.
  14. New mantra: I am not getting a chest cold, I am not getting a chest cold, I am not getting a chest cold. Denial will take you only so far.
  15. @Swistle_Thistle I stole it. Ransom note forthcoming.
  16. Dear Twitter, I need a chocolate cake recipe to make with a four year old. Please send links or your favorite mix. Love, Beth.
  17. How old do the children have to be before I can reasonably expect to have a day with no screaming? How about just a dinner?
  18. Kids asleep. Owen, butt in the air, legs crossed at ankles. Mia, hands in the air like she just don't care. Makes me want 8000 more babies.
  19. @Swistle_Thistle Ooooh, sorry, wish I could, but today is "Yell At Your Sick Child For Being Sick And Then Feel Like a Monster" Day for me.
  20. Both kids are too sick to go out and too well to act sick. Going to be the longest day ever and it is ten hours until I can drink wine.