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Beef_Tongue

  1. Although I’m not Jewish, I look forward to when I’m old enough to have a really nice set of Hasidic hair curls growing out of my ears. about 19 hours ago from web
  2. It’s not ewe, it’s me. You can tell by my sheepish grin. about 22 hours ago from web
  3. Sir, I know all the ladies say you have a sweet cock, but would you please remove it from my iced tea? 5:13 PM Nov 23rd from web
  4. I really like a hairless Pussy. My neighbor is going to be upset when her cat won’t come home because I fed it after shaving it. 4:08 PM Nov 23rd from web
  5. My people eat all of the vagina. Except the hole. 6:49 PM Nov 22nd from web
  6. If we have Butterballs again this Thanksgiving, I may get a little testes. 5:17 PM Nov 22nd from web
  7. Your tramp stamp is a very large penis pointing directly at your anus? Real subtle. Sir. 4:31 PM Nov 22nd from web
  8. I didn’t wish @JephKelley Happy Birthday yesterday because he’s all handsome with lovely blue eyes and nice hair and hot. And I’m not Gay. 4:04 PM Nov 22nd from web
  9. I like to think of my dick as a wish bone. Rub it several times and make a wish. Your dream may cum true. 1:52 PM Nov 22nd from web
  10. I got the new Sarah Palin book. Denny’s was giving them away. I’m having a really difficult time coloring within the lines. 9:03 AM Nov 22nd from web
  11. A really good Sunday morning could be had just smelling the fingers of all the horny women on Twitter. But, don't tell God. It's Sunday. 6:21 AM Nov 22nd from web
  12. This hooker can’t seem to get it right; it’s lick the balls while stroking the cock. How many times do I have to demonstrate on her pimp? 5:43 PM Nov 21st from web
  13. My favorite Saturday afternoon activity is to play "What Escaped from the Ass of the Person Who Just Left the Walmart Bathroom?" 4:05 PM Nov 21st from web
  14. Just voted yourmomanal.com for Best Twitter Ass Fuck using super glue as a lubricant. 2:52 PM Nov 21st from web
  15. Hotel for Dogs is coming on. It sounds like a movie about people camping out at Walmart for Black Friday. 1:19 PM Nov 21st from web
  16. When I’m unfollowed by a member of the Twitter "in-crowd” I feel sad. Then I see a current picture on their Tumblr and wonder why I cared. 11:06 AM Nov 21st from web
  17. First rule of Monkey Club: Don’t throw your shit until they put their hands on the bars of your cage. 6:50 AM Nov 21st from web
  18. It's weird. If I touch my pee pee just right, it gets all stiff and shit. What's up with that? 5:25 AM Nov 21st from web
  19. Sir, that toilet paper hanging out of your mouth indicates you just don’t know which end is up. 9:44 PM Nov 20th from web
  20. Yeah, I see the sunglasses. Cool. But, you’re still a miserable Bitch, with a loser boyfriend who only wants the occasional blow job. 5:47 PM Nov 20th from web