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Bauart

  1. I'mPrettySureThisWillBeTheNextBigThingOnTwitter.TrustMe.
  2. 2012 hits theaters today. It will be fun to watch Hollywood describe the end of the world, I mean..., as apposed to the Baptist.
  3. If Lou Dobbs is leaving CNN does this mean I can't order any more of his "World Most Self-Righteous Anchor" coffee mugs?
  4. Had a meeting to discuss the pre-meeting, then a follow-up meeting after the meeting. I felt like one of George Clooney's goats.
  5. I know u call it a Liquor Store but "Happy Fun Store" has a nice ring and people don't hit when I say I got happy on their sofa.
  6. "Shit My Dad Says" was picked up by CBS as a possible sitcom. I'm still waiting on my call to be his cooky neighbor "Retweet".
  7. "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known" - Carl Sagan, 1934–1996 - (Happy 75th Birthday Carl!)
  8. I recently traveled on Highway 69 through Oklahoma the same way a spicy Mexican soup travels through the lower intestines.
  9. Ladies it's here at last! "The Complete and Unabridged Instruction Manual to Understand Your Man" - Insert Tab A into Slot B.
  10. Police sex is called copulation. Foreigner sex is called fornicating. Police screwing foreigners is called border control.
  11. Election drinking game. Every time you hear a national conservative pundit gloat over a meaningless local election, take a shot.
  12. Merkel in congress left me wanting more. Is there a German channel w/ Bavarian drinking songs & sexually-repressed documentaries?
  13. If you think my tweets are redundant, read again.
  14. I had an egg thrown at the house, guess the Trick'r-Treaters didn't like the snausages.
  15. Halloween zombies trick'r-treating for candy, NOT scary. Door-to-door religious nuts trying to nab my soul on a weekday... SCARY!
  16. The last time I was "listed" by this many people I had to spend 6 weeks in detention.
  17. It's OK to help the Walmart shoppers, "No no dear, you don't need that, just step away from the plastic yard ornaments!"
  18. 42 yrs ago today Prof L. Kleinrock sent the 1st computer to computer txt message, then seconds later received the 1st fail whale.
  19. I've been pizza free for 36 hours! Delivery guy stopped to check on me, what a friend. (Of course I tipped him, it's customary).
  20. Best costume idea for the kids... Give'm a netbook, dress them like Northwest pilots, and drop them off 150 miles from town.