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Balut

  1. What's the right choice of words when the deceased donates their corpse to Body Worlds? Pose in peace?
  2. Change Steve Job's collar from crew neck to turtleneck and add a goatee and you get the high school drama coach.
  3. I like tits that suggest a forward trajectory.
  4. @smashedpotatoes Isn't it fun to be the subversive adult relative?
  5. Thanks for the FF endorsements: @CynicalNihilist, @Grumpassgrumpaw, @datagoodies. Look for your stickers on my nitro-burning funny car.
  6. More literate accounts of the LSD experience would be available if the lines didn't float above the paper.
  7. My intestinal bacteria will be scared shitless once they catch sight of these Gummi bears I swallowed whole.
  8. #FF @dumbasspatients
  9. Forgot what I was cooking for lunch and shook the pan of boiling water like it was a skillet. Ouch! Fuck!
  10. All the fidgeting we boys do is just to divert the teacher's attention from the bored girls playing with their new tits.
  11. If I ever get to experience zero gravity, I hope it's when I have a runny nose.
  12. @smashedpotatoes Intact?
  13. A busload of ADHD kids just pulled up in front of your store. They're gonna come in and touch everything.
  14. Heard you drop "sui generis" into your conversation. Bet I'm the only person nearby who knows you're not talking about pigs.
  15. Cop shows have me worried. Do normal people really remember what they did between such-and such hours on day whatever?
  16. Big buildings are scary, especially the ones with fancy lobbies.
  17. My validation today was being given the combination to the men's room at Nordstrom's. Needed to piss, knew it would be clean, made the cut.
  18. Every time I see a priss shop for groceries, I want to defile her.
  19. Hi, it's Mom. We're both fine. Dad says hi. Just called to let you know that Oxi Clean does a WONDERFUL job on skid marks.
  20. @robotwisdom I was conscious of my every blink for a day or two after seeing that movie.