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Balut

  1. Damn this stretch of 99. http://blip.fm/~gx7vb 8:23 PM Nov 26th from web
  2. Save your attacks for after dinner. You don't want someone stirring the gravy in the middle of a snot-dripping crying jag. 9:56 AM Nov 26th from web
  3. Touch the wattle. I dare you. 9:45 AM Nov 26th from web
  4. I can't be the only one who freeze-frames space shuttle news clips to see what brands of watches the crew wears. 5:36 PM Nov 24th from web
  5. RT @MissStaceyLynn: Man marries deaf girl. He says "We must work out a code. When I ask if you want to have sex, pull my dick once for Y ... 5:02 PM Nov 23rd from web
  6. Weaknesses? Let see, oh yeah, I suck at purposeful activity. 4:38 PM Nov 23rd from web
  7. RT @evehorizon: My parents asked what we were bringing to Thanksgiving and apparently they already have enough crime scene tape. 3:01 PM Nov 23rd from web
  8. Some people violate rules that I never knew I had before. 11:26 AM Nov 23rd from web
  9. "Daddy gets upset when I ask him to play tetherball.", said Lance Armstrong's child. 8:23 AM Nov 23rd from web
  10. You must have worn the drill sergeant of training bras. 8:01 AM Nov 23rd from web
  11. @sunshynegrll Have you ever seen fresh huitlacoche (the Mexican truffle) for sale? Mexican grocers act like they never heard of it. 11:39 PM Nov 22nd from web in reply to sunshynegrll
  12. @sandwichpolice Oh no! He beat up Sade too! 10:56 PM Nov 22nd from web in reply to sandwichpolice
  13. Man schmutz is smegma. Corn schmutz is silk. 10:55 PM Nov 22nd from web
  14. @joesmithreally It's a Ron Popeil universe. Set it and forget it. 10:51 PM Nov 22nd from web in reply to joesmithreally
  15. You don't need a big ego to be larger than life. 10:39 PM Nov 22nd from web
  16. @MonikkaB Lady Gaga at an NYU talent show in 2005. http://bit.ly/07ZFl2i/ 10:31 PM Nov 22nd from web in reply to MonikkaB
  17. I wonder how much Netflix paid the guy who told them "You know, you could send these DVDs in just paper envelopes and they'll be fine." 12:48 PM Nov 22nd from web
  18. I wish Samuel L. Jackson would take a month off and travel from Wal-Mart to Wal-Mart to scold shoppers' kids. 10:42 PM Nov 20th from web
  19. What a long drive. Finally found a motel with a room. Time to turn down the bed... THERE'S A DETACHED DINGLEBERRY BETWEEN MY SHEETS! OH NO! 10:19 PM Nov 20th from web
  20. That business about not invading personal space–it only applies when you're facing the person, amirite? 5:34 PM Nov 20th from web