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BadToVerse

  1. Closing down! Closing down! Closing down!/ £16bn to bail out G Brown/He’s shown the way/Now will MPs repay/Expenses? Um, no. Cue big frown
  2. National Poetry Day!/For heroes we shout, ‘Hooray!/Truth and beauty!’/Let’s not be snooty/Pam Ayres for laureate, whaddya say?!
  3. Labour’s Lost It, thanks to Murdoch/‘Hero’ Gordon in state of shock/The Sun did for he/& no tits on Page 3/Just Cameron, the big Tory ****
  4. So Gordon is up for a bout/On TV with Dave he will shout/And maybe Clegg too/But how best to do?/My suggestion: like Total Wipeout
  5. Gordon denied that he’s blue/Or takes pills to help him through/But Mr Brown/No need to frown/Thanks to you we’re all on them too
  6. The Lost Symbol, how exciting!/Dan Brown’s latest, enlightening!/It’s about a man/Who uncovers a plan/To kill literature with lousy writing!
  7. Tired of map and toothcomb?/Dylan’s satnav will help you to roam/You’ll be fine/With Bob’s nasal whine/Singing there’s no direction home
  8. 40 years ago today/Neil’s ‘small step’ paved the way/For men on Moon/Let’s hope that soon/There’ll be more… Gordon Brown, one way.
  9. Satire dead! Boat-rocking titch/Survived? I’m starting to twitch/Excuse disruption/As I flee corruption/To land of free and… er… Blagojevich
  10. MPs were angry and blunt/When they gave Michael Martin the shunt/But on last day/It’s hip hip hooray!/We’ll miss you, you wonderful DELETED
  11. 50p to make Britain great/No more the dial-up and wait/Won’t it be grand/When we’re all broadband/Tweeting “Death to Gordon, the dictat…or”?
  12. Dear Gordon, Re inquiry shame/Let me help with laying the blame/Not a mystery/“Judged by history”/You backed him… Ooh, what was his name?!
  13. Hustings for new Speaker to keep/Order order in MP dung heap/Someone with power/To pelt ‘em with flour/Squirt water and squeak… Vote Sweep!
  14. Week Review: “POLITICS” *fail*/Duffy’s pome, like PM, makes us wail/Sorry Blears begged/Herr Griffin egged/Swine flu: You OK? You look pale…
  15. Swine flu! Soon we’ll be sniffin’/Coughin’ & wheezin’ & stiffin’/Who’ll be 1st/Boxed up & hearsed?/Please God, let it be Nick Griffin!
  16. Tube halted from Barnet to Morden/But who, truth, has been hoardin’?/Boris or Bob Crow?/Only one way to know/Let Met give ‘em waterboardin’!
  17. Ramsay in land of @timminchin/Cooked goose with his sexist bitchin’/Down under blunder/Made PM thunder/“**** off and get back in kitchen!”
  18. New Cabinet met, it was brisk, it/Was silly of Gordon to risk it/Lost PM’s throne/To Mandy, who drone/“Fetch my tea and my fucking biscuit!”
  19. Gordon’s big fist, he clunk it/Rebels they did flunk it/Still got his crown/Can nothing stop Brown?/Where’s that cow that did for Blunkett?
  20. Gordon, NOW even you must know/Why, as leader, YOU blow/You’ve let in BNP/Resign as PM & MP/Get one thing right and GO